


i'll find a way to scare you, too

by HolisticObsessor (Talraven)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, DGHDA Spookfest 2018, F/F, Gun Violence, Hints at Amanda Brotzman/Farah Black, Hunter!Amanda, Hunter!Todd, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, Pararibulitis is a curse, Pre-Relationship, Prompt #26 Hunters, Supernatural Crossover, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-09 11:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16449089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talraven/pseuds/HolisticObsessor
Summary: Todd is hunting with his sister when he meets Holistic Detective, Dirk Gently.He never imagined he would ever turn out to be anyone's knight in shining flannel, but it didn't really matter if they're both saving each other, anyway.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the DGHDA Spookfest 2018. We got Prompt #26: Hunters. Obviously the only logical step was to make it a crossover. *nervous laughter*
> 
> Crossposted on the [Spookfest Tumblr](https://dghdaspookfest.tumblr.com/post/179610701022/ill-find-a-way-to-scare-you-too-chapter-1) by the wonderful @alratan. Wouldn't have been able to do this without her generous help!
> 
> Anyway, the title is from Gerard Way's Baby, You're a Haunted House. I think it fits really well with the theme and pretty much sums up Dirk and Todd's relationship.
> 
> **Happy Halloween, everyone!**

Svlad was panting heavily, gasping and heaving for breath as he ran faster than he ever thought he possibly could.

It was pitch-black and he could barely see an inch in front of him, but for once in his life, he was glad that he wasn’t exactly _normal_ , because for that reason alone, he managed to weave almost effortlessly between thick trees and stray rocks on the dirt path he had ended up on, even despite the darkness. Low-hanging branches scraped against his face and his arms, leaving behind stinging scratches and bruises, but that was a small price to pay to stay upright and moving.

 _Always moving, if he stopped,_ they’d _get him, and he didn’t want that. Not again. He couldn’t give up now._

Despite the chill of the night autumn air, Svlad was sweating profusely, and he knew that that was one of the reasons he could still hear the thundering footsteps of his pursuers, not more than a hundred yards behind him. He needed to get away, but he needed to get somewhere _wet_ ; he had to wash off his scent, _Blackwing’s_ scent, off of him, and then he could focus on finding somewhere to _hide_.

Unfortunately, avoiding a trip down to the ground and flat on his face was about as far as his ‘abilities’ could go, because Svlad frankly had no idea where the hell he was going.

He just knew he had to keep running.

His lungs were burning brands against his ribs, though, and he was starting to feel light-headed. His breaths were coming in shorter, harsher, and when another branch smacked against his forehead, Svlad’s vision swam. He ducked and swatted it away, slowing down and stumbling a few feet before managing to straighten back up and continue running, but those precious few seconds of faltering were enough for him to make out what the voices behind him were saying.

“ICARUS!” he heard one of them in particular, the worst of the lot.

Svlad whimpered quietly to himself, glancing behind over his shoulder, and he couldn’t see anything but more darkness and the darker silhouette of trees, but he knew perfectly well who was just beyond that.

“When I get my hands on you, boy, ohh, you’re gonna regret this!” he heard the voice continue to shout, followed by an eerie, high-pitched giggle of excitement that seemed to resound all throughout the forest.

Svlad’s breathing became worse at the threat, his throat closing up with fear and the instinctive desire to throw up apologies and beg for forgiveness, but Svlad managed to swallow that down, determinedly pushing harder to run _faster_.

He didn’t realize there was a ledge right in front of him until he was already tripping over it, and he screamed as he flailed, free-falling through the cold air over the side of a very high cliff. His screams were cut off when the pressure of falling wrung the last of his breath out of his lungs, and Svlad squeezed his eyes shut as he got closer and closer to the calm, flat surface of the lake below him, bracing for impact.

The water was freezing cold when Svlad broke through it, and it took a very long moment for Svlad to recover from the fall through the water before he could kick out his legs and start swimming for the surface. His whole body felt numb from the shock of the water’s sub-zero temperatures, and when Svlad’s head surfaced, his teeth chattered violently as he gasped for air. The lake wasn’t that large, but it was _deep_ and he quickly swam for the nearest bank.

It got colder when he climbed out of it, and he was shivering and breathing raggedly as he sat there, looking up at where he’d fallen from. He could see three black-clad figures standing on the ledge, standing out distinctly amongst the orange leaves of the trees behind them, and even though they were too far away for him to make out their faces, Svlad knew that they were staring right back down at him.

Svlad climbed shakily to his feet, and glared up at them with as much bravery as he could muster, and he flipped them a trembling bird before whirling around and running into the dense row of trees just beyond the lake, feeling just a little bit lighter and more hopeful the further his feet brought him, even despite the solemn chill of the air around him.

_He was finally free._

\---

**Two years later.**

Todd’s freezing his balls off in the middle of the night in a deserted alleyway after Amanda had abandoned him.

He’s cold, hungry, and annoyed, and he’s literally seconds away from driving off without his sister.

They’re on a _case_ , for fuck’s sake, and she’d just ditched him for a pretty face that was headed into a stupid bar. One of these days, he’s going to have an actual _talk_ with her about these things, but in the meantime-

“Excuse me?”

Todd jumps at the sudden presence of another person nearby; he’s in the alley behind a convenience store down the street from the club Amanda had gone into, smoking a joint, and it’s a quiet, weekday night, so he’s been there about fifteen minutes without a single soul in sight. Not to mention, it’s close to midnight already, so hearing a voice coming out of nowhere is a shock. Todd’s usually a lot more aware of his surroundings.

_He has to be, considering what he and Amanda do for a living._

“Sorry!” the same voice says immediately as Todd throws his blunt to the ground and crushes it under his boot viciously before he turns to look up at the stranger.

It’s a tall, thin man with side-swept auburn hair and a beaming face that Todd kind of flinches from with how _cheerful_ it seems. It’s almost like he’s shooting literal sunbeams from his smile alone, but there’s also a sort of darkness lingering behind his blue eyes that Todd recognizes. A dangerous glint, which seems completely out of place on him and instantly puts Todd on edge.

“Didn’t mean to _startle_ you, it’s just that I seem to have gotten myself lost,” the man continues, his expression scrunching up apologetically, while his smile doesn’t waver at all.

_He also sounds British._

Todd maybe sort of has to convince his dick to calm itself down before he manages to form any proper words to speak with.

“Lost?” he manages, scowling out of habit. “Where were you headed for?”

“Not sure, really,” the stranger says casually, waving a hand in the air in a vague gesture. “Here, there, _somewhere_.”

“How do you know you’re lost if you’re not even sure where you’re going in the first place?” Todd asks, his scowl deepening as he eyes the man suspiciously.

“I’m sure I’m _not_ at where I’m going, right now,” the man replies, rolling his eyes.

_He also seems annoying._

Todd squints at the man and takes a step back from him, shaking his head. “Look, whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying,” he says. “I’m just passing through with my sister. Find someone else to scam or whatever.”

“Wait, wait!” the man calls out urgently as Todd turns around and starts walking away.

Todd ignores him, not in the mood to deal with a weird stranger’s bullshit, but a hand grabs his shoulder and Todd throws an arm out instinctively as he whirls around. The man lets go of him and jumps back with wide eyes, holding his hands out in front of him placatingly as Todd glares at him.

“I’m not a _scammer_ ,” the man says, making a face. “I’m _actually_ lost, and you were the only other person I’ve seen all night.”

“I can’t help you if you won’t even tell me where you’re going,” Todd snaps at him, annoyed.

“That’s because I _don’t know_ ,” the man starts, and Todd rolls his eyes before he makes to leave again, pausing when the man frantically says, “No, wait, wait, sorry, please don’t leave yet!”

Todd eyes him as the man makes another face and inhales deeply.

“I’m a Holistic Detective,” he starts, almost nervously, and then continues in a rush, “You see, the term ‘holistic’ refers to my convictions about the fundamental interconnectedness of all things. I see the solution to each problem as being detectable in the pattern and web of the whole and once I’m hired, I am intrinsically connected to a specific case, and will eventually solve the mystery surrounding it by sort of doing whatever I feel like I should be doing. And at the moment, I’m on a case _here_ , but I don’t have the _faintest_ idea where I’m supposed to go right now, until I saw _you_ here, and I had a hunch that I needed to talk to you!”

He seems to be holding his breath when he finishes, and Todd- well, Todd has no idea how to respond to all of that. He’s staring at the man, and it registers to him that his stare is making the man even more nervous, because he starts fiddling with the hem of the yellow jacket he’s wearing.

It takes Todd an embarrassingly long moment to realize that the man is waiting for him to say something.

“What?” is the first thing that comes out of Todd’s mouth.

The man groans, dropping his head and muttering something under his breath that Todd can’t quite hear. Todd shakes his head, about to tell the man to kindly leave him the fuck alone, when his phone rings shrilly and he jumps at the sudden noise piercing through the air of the otherwise silent night.

“It’s your sister,” the man says offhandedly, and Todd scowls at him as he pulls his phone out.

It _is_ Amanda, and Todd shoots the man a suspicious look as he answers.

“ _Todd, I got a lead_ ,” Amanda says into his ear, her voice almost drowned out by the loud pounding of music in the background.

“Hello to you, too, sis,” Todd mutters, but Amanda doesn’t hear him, continuing with, “ _This chick I met at the bar told me Patrick had a secret laboratory in the woods! It’s like, an hour’s drive away, I was thinking if we go now, we might get this shit over with by morning._ ”

“How is it a secret if this chick knows about it?” Todd asks her incredulously.

Even through the phone, Todd can clearly hear Amanda roll her eyes at him as she replies, “ _She was head of his security before he bit the dust. She’s been trying to find his murderer, too._ ”

“Did you tell her about the chimera?” Todd asks, alarmed now. It’s not like Amanda to do that; she’s of the firm belief that the creatures of the night remain fiction in the minds of the general population, but she’s also got a bleeding heart and there’s not much that Amanda loves more than helping people exact just revenge.

“ _No, Todd, of course not_ ,” Amanda tells him, but Todd knows an Amanda White LieTM when he hears it.

“ _Amanda_ ,” he says exasperatedly.

“ _Okay, fine, I did, alright_?” she admits, adding quickly. “ _But she’s_ security _, Todd. She could be really helpful. She’s got_ training.”

Todd sigh heavily, eyes falling shut as he prays silently for patience. “Okay, fine,” he says after a moment, eyes opening again. “Bring her with you, I’ll meet you back at the car in ten minutes.”

“ _Stay away from the light, Todd_!” Amanda replies cheerfully before she hangs up.

Todd sighs again as he pockets his phone, and then belatedly remembers that the strange man is still there with him.

“You’re _still_ here?” he asks blankly.

The man’s brows rise on his forehead, and the smile on his face takes on a more sly tone.

“Chimera, you said?” he says, and Todd groans internally.

“Are you a _hunter_?” he demands as he takes a step back from the man with a glare.

The man’s eyes widen and he looks hilariously scandalized as he splutters, “ _Hunter_! I- Absolutely _not_!” He stops to make a disbelieving sound. “Do I _look_ like a hunter to you?” he demands, gesturing down at himself. “ _No_ , the answer is a resounding no, Mr-” he pauses and tilts his head, asking, “What was your name again?”

“Todd,” Todd answers him automatically before realizing that giving his name to this suspicious stranger might not be the best of ideas, but the man simply nods a thanks and continues, “As I was saying, I am not a hunter, Todd, I do not even _look_ like a hunter, and I’ll thank you to not associate me with any hunters.”

“Fine,” Todd says when the man is done, scowling again. “Who are you, then?”

“I’m a Holistic Detective, I _told_ you,” the man says, rolling his eyes. “Keep up, Todd.”

“I _mean_ , what’s your _name_ ,” Todd snaps, definitely losing his patience now.

The man looks startled for a moment - a haunted, almost fearful look settling over his features - and Todd _almost_ feels bad; _maybe_ he’d been a bit too harsh with his tone for that last part. But the man is _weird_ , and he’s got Todd’s heckles rising sky high, and Todd hates it.

He needs to get back to Amanda, get back to finding the chimera that had allegedly killed Patrick Spring, and most importantly, he needs a warm bed and twenty-something-years’ worth of _sleep_.

He’s _tired_.

“Dirk,” the man finally says after what seems like an eternity of stagnant silence, and his voice is so tinny and quiet that he sounds like a completely different person. “My- my name is Dirk Gently.”

Todd bites at the inside of his cheek, feeling uncomfortably guilty. The man - Dirk - looks like he’s not quite all there, his eyes glazed over and staring a little to the side over Todd’s shoulder, and his face looks unnaturally pale under the light in the alley.

Cursing internally, Todd sighs and says, “Fine, Dirk. Explain to me how you got lost and what you’re actually trying to do. But we’re going to have to walk and talk. Amanda hates waiting.”

_Okay, so Amanda’s not the only Brotzman with a bleeding heart and a thing for strays._

Dirk looks startled again at Todd’s invitation, his eyes re-focusing and meeting Todd’s with uncertainty, but it’s brief, and then suddenly, he’s beaming brightly. Todd can only hope he’s not going to regret this later as he turns around and heads for the other end of the alley, Dirk’s footsteps resounding behind him as he rushes to catch up to Todd.

The car’s not far from the convenience store, and it takes less than five minutes for them to speed-walk there. Amanda’s approaching them from the other side of the street at about the same time Todd and Dirk reach, a black woman following behind her closely.

“Is this tit for tat because I’m bringing Farah with us?” is the first thing Amanda says as they both stop in front of each other on the sidewalk, her gaze on the man that’s tagging along behind her brother.

Todd rolls his eyes, shrugging. “He says he’s lost,” he explains in a deadpan, turning to look at Dirk standing behind him. “Dirk,” he says, and Dirk perks up, smiling widely. “This is my sister, Amanda. Amanda, this is Dirk Gently.”

“Hiii,” Dirk says, giving Amanda a small wave. “I’m a Holistic Detective.”

Amanda raises a brow at him. “What’s a Holistic Detective?” she asks curiously.

“Well, the term holistic refers to-” Dirk starts, but Todd waves a hand in front of his face, and he stops abruptly, looking at Todd.

“Four sentences or less, otherwise nobody’s ever gonna understand you,” Todd advises.

Dirk pouts, his brows furrowing, but he nods once and slowly says, “Well, I solve cases with intuition. I follow hunches to get to the bottom of any mystery that presents itself to me. Basically, I just do whatever, and it all works out in the end!”

Amanda looks at Todd quizzically, and Todd shrugs. “That was three sentences, it’s an improvement,” he says, shaking his head.

Amanda’s eyes narrow at him, and then over at Dirk as she mutters, “ _Right_.”

The black woman behind her clears her throat pointedly, and Amanda’s eyes widen. “Ah, shit, sorry, I totally forgot!” she exclaims, stepping aside so that Todd and Dirk can see the other woman. “Todd, _Dirk_ , this is Farah Black,” Amanda declares, gesturing at her. “She used to work for Patrick Spring as his head of security and she’s going to help us get to Patrick’s secret, mad scientist lab in the woods!”

The woman, Farah, cringes at the introduction. “It’s an abandoned research facility that Patrick shut down after numerous reports of health violations,” she corrects Amanda. “I’m not even sure if we’ll find anything there, but it’s the only place the police hasn’t checked yet.”

“Abandoned research facility,” Dirk echoes her excitedly. “Sounds like the perfect place to engineer a chimera!”

Amanda frowns at him. “Are you a hunter?” she asks suspiciously.

Dirk rolls his eyes at her, scoffing. “Why is everyone asking me that?” he says exasperatedly.

“Chimeras aren’t exactly common knowledge,” Todd points out.

“Well, I’m _not_ a hunter,” Dirk says firmly before squinting at Todd. “And by that logic, doesn’t that make _you two_ hunters? Unless uncommon knowledge is something they teach in schools nowadays.”

Todd flinches at that, although he should have seen it coming. Amanda, predictably, gets defensive about it.

“Hunters are fucking assholes,” she snaps, angry. “And we’re not. End of story.”

Dirk shrugs, seemingly unbothered by her anger, and says, “I completely agree with you.”

“Good,” Amanda says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Great,” Dirk agrees.

“Should we be making a move?” Farah cuts in, looking between. “I don’t know what hunters are and I don’t really care. I just want to find out who killed Patrick Spring and why.”

Dirk perks up at that, pointing a finger at Farah. “That’s my new case!” he says excitedly.

Farah frowns at him with confusion. “You know Patrick?” she asks.

“Yes!” Dirk says, and then adds hastily, “Well, _no_ , actually, not _really_?”

“How do you yes-no-not-really know someone?” Amanda asks quizzically.

“Well, Patrick Spring sent me a text message of this town’s coordinates about a month ago,” Dirk explains. “He said when I was done with what I was doing for Sakthi, I should come here next.”

“Who’s Sakhti?” Farah asks, looking even more confused.

“The client that hired me for my previous case,” Dirk says pointedly, as if it goes without saying. “Obviously.”

“Right,” Farah says, her eyes narrowing on him. “Patrick didn’t tell me he’d hired a detective.”

“ _Holistic_ Detective,” Dirk corrects her. “And I would assume he wouldn’t, considering he probably didn’t know _why_ he was hiring me.”

“Why would Patrick hire a _Holistic_ Detective if he didn’t know what for?” Farah asks incredulously. “That’s not something Patrick would do!”

“That’s a very good question, Farah,” Dirk says, smiling. “Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for it yet! I _do_ know, however, that Patrick was murdered by a chimera with a mixture of cat and shark DNA.”

“Cat and shark?” Todd echoes. “ _How_ do you know that?”

“Because I brought the chimera back to my hotel,” Dirk says with a smile.

“You did _what_?” Amanda splutters, gaping at him.

“Why would you bring a chimera involved in a murder _back to your hotel room_?” Farah asks stiffly, and she has a blank look on her face like she’s not quite capable of comprehending what Dirk is telling them.

Todd absolutely relates to that.

“I had a hunch,” Dirk answers simply. “Also, she looked sort of lonely.”

“She _killed_ a man!” Farah says, shaking her head with obvious disbelief. “Where did you even find her?”

“She didn’t do it on purpose,” Dirk retorts defensively. “At least, I don’t think so. And I took her from the crime scene, Farah, where _else_ would the prime suspect of a murder be?”

“ _You were at the crime scene_?”

Dirk winces at the high-pitched, tensed tone of Farah’s question, and he makes a face as he glances over at Todd for help.

Todd sighs. “This is a waste of time,” he says, rubbing at his face. “Let’s- let’s just go to this research facility and see what we can find.” He looks over at Dirk flatly and adds, “ _You_ ; tell us everything you know in the car.”

\---

“Right, so Patrick sent you coordinates a month before he’s murdered, and didn’t say anything about anything besides for you to get to the coordinates whenever you’re done with _whatever_ it was that you were doing at the time,” Todd says, paraphrasing Dirk’s explanation of his connection to Patrick Spring.

They’re both sitting in the back of Todd and Amanda’s car, with Amanda in the front passenger seat and Farah driving. Dirk’s poking and prodding at whatever catches his attention in the back seat - which are currently the scattered contents of a hex bag Todd and Amanda had dismantled from their last hunt but never got around to throwing out - as he once more retells the story of Patrick contacting him.

“And the coordinates led me to the scene of the murder, moments after it had been committed, and I found the chimera that had committed it,” Dirk affirms, squinting at a tiny piece of bone he’s picked up from the floor of the car. “Is this rat’s or crow’s?” he asks Todd curiously.

“Puppy’s, maybe,” Todd tells him, and Dirk drops it back to the floor immediately with a disgusted look on his face. “It was from a botched hex bag some teenager tried to make.”

“Patrick didn’t tell you anything else in that text?” Farah asks, glancing at them from the rear-view mirror.

“Nope,” Dirk says simply, scooting to the side and closer to his door as he eyes the bone next to his foot warily. “I’d assumed it was because he didn’t know why he wanted me here, either.”

“Is that normal for you?” Amanda asks, turning in her seat to look at Dirk. “You just, up and go wherever someone tells you to go?”

Dirk smiles brightly at her. “That’s usually how I get my cases, yes,” he says.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Amanda continues, frowning. “I mean, what if someone asks you to go somewhere like a volcano, or something? What if that chimera had tried to kill _you_ when you got there?”

Dirk huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “I’m not an _idiot_ , Amanda,” he says. “I wouldn’t go _into_ the volcano. Perhaps around it, if I could find a way to stand the heat. I wouldn’t have much choice, anyway. As I said, once I’m hired, I’m intrinsically connected to a case. If that chimera were meant to kill _me_ , then I would already be dead, but I’m not, so there’s no point worrying about it, is there.”

Amanda frowns deeply at him. “Have you ever turned down a case before?” she asks.

Dirk shrugs. “Not as of yet,” he says. “Although, there was the one case that had a missing sock that I never _completely_ solved. I wonder if that’s going to bite me in the rear end one day, but oh well. C'est la vie.”

“How long have you been doing this?” Todd asks him, also frowning.

Dirk sounds carefree and completely at ease with what he’s telling them, but Todd can still see that dangerous glint behind his eyes. He’s sure there’s something else Dirk isn’t telling them, but Todd’s not really sure he wants to know what it is. There’s also the chance that Dirk might pry into Todd and Amanda’s business if Todd pries into Dirk’s, too, and Todd doesn’t need any more people knowing about them.

Dirk hums thoughtfully as he thinks, and says, “Two years, maybe? I’m not sure, time’s a relative construct to me. Sometimes I do absolutely nothing, and it feels like months have passed.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Amanda says suddenly, the expression on her face contorting as she turns back in her seat and leans into it, squirming as she looks down at her legs, seeing and feeling something there that no one else can. “Todd!”

Todd curses, digging through his pockets and fumbling with the bottle of pills he finds in one of them. He almost drops it in his haste, especially when Amanda starts keening in the back of her throat with pain, and Todd manages to pop two pills out onto his palm, and he reaches an arm round Amanda’s seat and stuffs them into her mouth.

“Breathe, Amanda,” Todd tells her over her shoulder as she swallows the pills and gasps. “It’s good, you’re doing good.”

Amanda’s breathing is ragged, but she nods, reaching one hand up to touch Todd’s arm and squeeze it.

“I’m good,” she repeats after him, breathlessly.

“What _was_ that?”

Todd glances over at Dirk, mildly annoyed. The other man is staring wide-eyed at Amanda, shocked and curious all at once, and Todd’s about to tell him to mind his own damned business when Amanda snorts derisively.

“I have a nerve disease,” she says, her voice only slightly raspy. “Pararibulitis. Makes my brain input stimulus wrongly, so breathing can feel like drowning, water can feel like fire. Touching my own skin can feel like I’m scraping it off with a knife.”

Todd squeezes her shoulder, a warning and a reassurance, before he pulls away from her, watching Dirk’s reaction. The other man simply looks curious.

“That sounds fascinating,” he says, and Todd makes a face.

“Not if you’re the one having the attacks,” he snaps.

Dirk’s expression becomes more apologetic, then. “Sounds _difficult_ ,” he amends.

“It’s hereditary,” Amana adds, looking back at them over her shoulder. “Usually, only one in every generation gets it, in our family. It’s incurable.”

“Usually?” Dirk asks.

“Todd had it, too, before,” Amanda explains. “But he got cured.”

“Didn’t you say it’s _incurable_?” Dirk points out, looking over at Todd with confusion.

Todd feels the familiar, unbearable pang of guilt unfurl in his gut, and he shrugs before flatly stating, “I got lucky.” Not wanting to let the subject drag on, he adds, “How much further is this facility?”

“Not much,” Farah says. “We’re nearly there. I hope you guys have flashlights.”

“Loads,” Todd assures her.

“What else do you know about chimeras, Dirk?” Amanda asks after a moment.

“ _Well_ , I’m no expert on the topic, certainly,” Dirk says, scrunching his nose. “I’ve never seen one in the flesh before yesterday.”

“What did it look like?” Todd asks him. “The one that killed Patrick.”

“It’s a black kitten,” Dirk answers quickly. “With a shark’s tail. A baby shark tail, it’s really actually quite adorable. Until it opens its mouth, of course, because that’s not quite as baby as the rest of it.”

“And chimeras, they’re not naturally born, right?” Farah asks, glancing over at them with an uneasy look on her face.

“One hundred percent man-made,” Todd tells her. “And it’s not an easy process. Most chimeras don’t survive longer than two or three days.”

“So, either this shark-kitten is really young, or whoever made it is really _good_ ,” Amanda concludes. “Which means they’re _dangerous_.”

Todd sees Farah grip the steering wheel tighter, and her expression becomes more taut.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” she mutters.

“Did Patrick have any enemies?” Todd asks her.

“Patrick is- _was_ the richest man in the county,” Farah says dryly. “I think the easier question would be who _wasn’t_ his enemy. He didn’t mix much with other rich moguls, either, which made him a constant target. That’s why he hired me.” She makes a strangled sound, and suddenly smacks the steering wheel harshly with one hand. “Fuck, I couldn’t even do _that_ right, damn it, Farah, why are you such a failure!”

Todd jumps at the sudden display of aggression, but Amanda just casually reaches over and pats Farah’s shoulder comfortingly.

“You didn’t think someone would send a chimera after him,” she says consolingly. “Can’t help it if they don’t play fair.”

Farah exhales loudly through her lips, and just as suddenly as she’d gotten worked up, she relaxes.

“You’re right,” she says, nodding slowly. “You’re completely right, of course. All the training and the testing and the studying; all completely worthless when you throw a mythical creature that, just hours ago, I didn’t even believe could exist, into the picture. Right?”

“You’re absolutely right, Farah,” Dirk tells her, “Don’t beat yourself up too much about it, I’m sure Patrick would have died, regardless.”

Farah makes another choked sound, and Amanda shoots Dirk a ‘what the fuck, dude’ look, to which Dirk shrugs sheepishly in response.

They stop about ten minutes later, and it’s literally pitch black outside the windows of the car. Todd squints out at the darkness, not liking it one bit, and rummages through the pocket of the back of Amanda’s seat, pulling out three flashlights. He tosses one over at Dirk, who flails and doesn’t catch it. It falls to the floor of the car and Dirk kind of stares at it with wide, doleful eyes before Todd sighs and bends down to pick it up.

“Hold onto it tight,” he instructs sternly as he passes it to Dirk, more carefully this time.

Dirk takes it in both hands, eyes meeting Todd’s. “Is it important to you?” he asks, tone soft and reverent.

Todd scowls. “It’s just a two-dollar flashlight,” he says dryly. “But if you lose it out there, you’ll get lost in the woods.”

“Oh,” Dirk says in response, and he clutches at the flashlight tightly. “Right, of course.”

Todd startles when something raps against his window, and turns on one of the flashlights still in his hands before directing the light towards it. It’s only Amanda, having somehow gotten out of the car without Todd even noticing, and she shoots him an unimpressed look, not even flinching at the brightness shining directly into her eyes.

“Get a move on, lazy butts,” Amanda’s muffled voice filters into the car.

Farah leads them down a narrow, barely-there path between thick bushes the same height as Todd, flanked by thick trees with overgrown vines twined around their trunks. They look like something straight out of a horror movie, especially with fall coming in fast and the leaves ranging from different shades of orange and red shining brightly even in the dark, and while Todd’s used to such sights, Dirk doesn’t seem to be. He keeps squeaking and tripping over the ground and making terrified, cut-off little noises every time he does, and eventually, he just walks closer to Todd.

Todd pretends not to notice when Dirk’s fingers pinch the tail of his flannel shirt, or the fluttering in his own chest when the close proximity between them sends the hair on the back of Todd’s neck standing on end.

Minutes later, Todd spots the roof of a run-down, stone building peeking out from the canopy of the forest, and flashes of its stained walls between the gaps of the trees around them. Farah leads them up to it without faltering, and they end up standing in front of a padlocked, steel door with a 6-foot-tall stone fence surrounding the compound on either side of it. Todd’s about to suggest climbing the walls when Farah takes a gun out from behind her and shoots the lock, not even flinching.

“Whoa,” Amanda says, looking at Farah with an impressed look on her face.

Todd agrees completely, but Farah simply shrugs and nods towards the door, which had fallen open a bit without the lock to keep it secured.

“Stay close,” she tells them as she leads the way. “This place hasn’t been used in decades, and the health violations didn’t get any better without maintenance.”

“Why didn’t Patrick just tear the place down?” Todd asks quizzically.

“He had other things to deal with, probably,” Farah says, with a one-shoulder shrug. “I never asked.”

“Maybe _he’s_ the one that’s been using it as a place to engineer a chimera,” Dirk suggests behind Todd, and the rest of them freeze to look at him sceptically. Dirk makes a face at their scrutiny, letting go of Todd’s shirt to throw his hands up in front of him defensively as he says, “It’s _possible_!”

“Patrick wouldn’t do that,” Farah says, although she doesn’t sound too convinced of her own words.

“Actually, Dirk’s right,” Amanda says slowly, eyes widening. “What if Patrick’s been messing with things he didn’t understand, and one of his creations managed to escape and hunt him down and killed him!”

“That’s kind of far-fetched,” Todd remarks with a frown. “Isn’t it? I mean, why would a rich businessman like him do something stupid like that.”

“Patrick was a man of science,” Dirk says suddenly, and Todd raises a brow at him, but Dirk’s looking over at Farah, nose scrunching up. “Wasn’t he?”

Farah shifts on her feet uncomfortably, grudgingly answering, “Well, yeah. That’s how he built his empire. He was an inventor first, a businessman second.”

“But why would he make a _chimera_?” Todd argues.

“Chime- _ras_ , possibly,” Dirk corrects him. “Perhaps he wanted to build an army of super-engineered hybrids and open a zoo of them? Or unleash them on the unsuspecting public on Halloween as part of his dastardly plan to take over the county?”

Todd shoots him an unimpressed stare. “You can’t seriously believe either of that,” he deadpans.

Dirk shrugs. “The shark-kitten was real,” he points out.

“We don’t _know_ if Patrick made it,” Todd says.

“There’s one way to find out,” Amanda declares, and strides past Farah and through the now-open door.

Todd jogs after her, hissing loudly, “Amanda, wait!”

There’s a spacious, cluttered courtyard just past it, with dying, overgrown weeds, and Amanda’s already crossed half of it by the time Todd catches up to her. He looks around them warily, one hand clutching his flashlight tight and another hovering readily over his hip where his salt-bullet gun is stuffed into the waistband of his jeans.

There’s a short flight of steps at the front of the building on the other side of the courtyard, leading up to a set of rotting double doors barely hanging onto its hinges, and they collapse completely when Amanda - ever the show-off - kicks at them, the thick sole of her boot sending a deafeningly loud thump ringing through the silent air as it hits wood. Todd flinches at the sound, shooting Amanda’s back an exasperated glare as he follows her in through the doorway.

“Whoa,” he hears Amanda say as they enter the building, and she stops a few steps in.

Todd stops next to her, looking around. The inside looks like the lobby of a very old hospital, complete with the remnants of a counter with a glass cage over it and what used to be holes for people to talk through. Next to the counter is a flight of stairs that turns sharply and climbs over the counter before disappearing past the ceiling of the first floor.

There are three halls, one to the other side of the counter, another on the left of the room and another to the right. There are broken pieces of furniture and machinery littered everywhere, and everything is covered in a layer of mould and dirt and general decay.

_It looks more like an insane asylum from a horror movie than an abandoned research facility._

“I feel like there’s gonna be green goop oozing out the walls any second,” Amanda tells Todd in a hushed tone.

“Or sulphur,” Todd mutters back, shuddering at the sight of a stripped wheelchair just down the hall to their left. “You brought the salt?”

“And iron knuckles,” Amanda says. “Shit, forgot the fucking Bible.”

“Know it by heart,” Todd tells her wryly.

“Has it really been that many?” Amanda asks, turning to look at him with disbelief.

“Fucking Winchesters,” Todd replies wearily.

“Fucking Winchesters,” Amanda agrees with a sigh.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t look very much like a _research_ facility,” Dirk says loudly behind them, and they both jump, startled.

Todd turns around to see him stepping carelessly over the crap on the ground, his eyes flitting all over the place at an almost frantic pace.

“Unless they were researching _crazy people_ ,” Dirk continues as he walks past Todd and Amanda and over to the counter.

Todd watches apprehensively as he starts poking at the glass, pressing his pinky finger through one of the tiny speaking-holes and making a little sound of surprise when the glass cracks around it. Todd strides over to him and grabs his wrist, pulling his finger back out and glaring at Dirk.

“Do you wanna lose your hand?” he snaps at him with annoyance. “This place is _filthy_. Forget about demons or chimeras, you’ll die from an infection.”

Dirk shoots him a sheepish look, and Todd glares for a moment longer before - reluctantly - letting go of Dirk’s wrist and turning to look at Amanda. Farah’s standing next to her, looking around suspiciously.

“Someone’s been here,” Farah says darkly, pointing towards the hallway to the right.

Todd looks over at it, but doesn’t understand how she can tell, until she explains, “The dirt on the floor; it’s been disturbed. Like someone dragged something along it.”

Todd shines his flashlight on the floor and squints down at it, realizing that she’s right. The sides of the hallway’s floors are covered in at least an inch of grime, but the middle part of it looks relatively less dirty, and it’s pretty obvious that the muck had been scraped clean clumsily.

“Let’s check it out,” Todd says quietly, glancing at Farah.

Farah gives him a single, curt nod, raising her gun to aim it down the hallway as she starts moving towards it.

“Stay behind me, all of you,” she says over her shoulder. “And don’t wander off. What we’re doing is technically illegal, so try not to leave any evidence behind.”

The hallway is longer than Todd had initially assumed, but it’s relatively clearer of junk, too. It turns left at the end, and they reach more doors, this time with square windows on them. The glass is too dirty to look through, though, and Farah motions for them to wait as she pulls one of the doors open slowly and peeks around it. Her eyes widen at whatever she sees beyond it.

“Guys,” she says in a choked voice, pulling the door open wider. “Tell me I’m not hallucinating this.”

Todd rushes closer, and he gasps at what he sees.

The room behind the doors looks like a completely different building altogether. It’s _clean_ , first of all, completely spotless with gleaming white walls and blue linoleum tiled floors. There’s also electricity, because the lights on the ceiling are glaring down at them harshly.

But the weirdest thing there is taking up a large part of the space, in the centre of the room; a _large_ , glass, cylindrical-

“ _Vat_!” Dirk gasps loudly from where he’s moved to stand beside Todd.

Todd flinches at how loud his voice is, and glances at him to see him gaping up at the vat with amazement.

“What’s _in_ it?” Dirk continues, turning to look at Todd.

Todd shrugs in response, looking back at the vat. Whatever’s inside it, it looks like dank seawater, greenish and murky. There’s also particles of god knows what floating through it, and Todd frowns at it, a bad feeling uncurling in his gut at the sight.

“I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical, _sane_ explanation for what this is,” he hears Farah say in a clipped, nervous tone, somewhere to his right.

“Yeah, _sane_ ,” he repeats dryly.

“Guys, look at this,” Amanda calls out suddenly, and Todd tears his eyes away from the vat to look in the direction her voice is coming from.

She’s somewhere behind the vat, half-obscured by it, and she’s flipping through what looks like a brown folder with papers in it. There’s a long, metal table in front of her, pushed against the wall, and there are several other folders there, too. Todd moves over to her, and feels bile threatening to crawl up his throat as he catches sight of photos spilling out from the folders on the table.

Most of them are of animals, of all types and sizes, taken in the wild judging from the angle of the shots, but others are more gruesome; bleeding limbs, cats with their stomachs cut and spread wide open, monkeys with their brains spilling out from their sawed-off scalps - the whole package of a budding psychopath’s menagerie.

“This is sick,” Todd chokes out, covering his mouth with the back of his hand that’s holding the flashlight and taking a step back from the table. “Jesus, what kind of fucking psycho was Patrick?”

“Patrick didn’t do this,” Farah denies vehemently, suddenly next to Todd. She’s looking at the table, too, and her lips are pursed so tight, they’ve gone pale.

“Who else, then?” Todd says, shaking his head. “He _did_ own the building.”

“It wasn’t Patrick,” Dirk says, standing on Amanda’s other side. He sounds shaken, and when Todd looks over at him, he’s gone deathly pale, his eyes wide and his back ramrod stiff.

“How do _you_ know?” Amanda asks him, tossing the folder she’s holding back onto the table and shuddering.

“Because I think I know who did this,” Dirk says in that same tone, accompanied by a full-body shudder.

Todd’s about to ask him to explain what the _fuck_ he means by that when he hears a faint scratching from the distance, followed by a series of quiet, breathy growls. He tenses up and whirls around on his feet, raising his gun and aiming it at nothing.

“What is it, Todd?” he hears Amanda ask, as tensed as he feels.

Todd shakes his head in answer; the sounds are gone, but he knows what had made them.

_Time’s running out._

“It’s nothing,” he murmurs uneasily, lowering his gun. He can’t bring himself to look at Amanda. He looks at Dirk, instead. “What do you mean?” he demands, more harshly than he’d intended. “You know who’s behind this?”

Dirk flinches at his tone, seeming to shrink into himself as he turns to look at Todd apprehensively. “I,” he stutters out, his voice choking before he inhales deeply and continues, “The logo, on the files; I’ve seen it before.”

Todd glances over at the folders, and realises that, yes, they all have the same symbol embossed onto them, which hadn’t been immediately obvious because they’re the same colour as the files. They look like a triangle made up of disjointed lines, with a circle in the centre of it. It doesn’t mean anything to Todd, but apparently, it does to Dirk.

“Where?” Todd asks him sharply. “Who?”

Dirk shakes his head, looking more terrified, and he runs his hands through his hair in visible agitation.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” Todd hears him muttering under his breath, seemingly to himself. “I shouldn’t- they’re here, or they _will_ be here, I- I can’t go back…”

“Dirk,” Todd says, frowning at the man.

Dirk doesn’t even hear him at all, and Todd moves over to him, stuffing his flashlight into the back pocket of his jeans to reach a hand out and touch Dirk’s shoulder. He’s shocked when Dirk jerks violently away from him, a keening sound coming out from the man’s lips.

“Fuck, Dirk, it’s me,” Todd says, now feeling worried. Dirk is looking at him, but he doesn’t appear to actually _see_ Todd. His eyes are wide, his pupils blown, and Todd can hear his breathing turning ragged.

He’s having a panic attack.

“Dirk,” Todd says again, and Dirk still doesn’t react.

“Jesus, is he okay?” Amanda asks, and Todd shakes his head, shrugging helplessly.

“Maybe we should get out of here,” Farah says, a pained look on her face. “Grab as many files as we can carry, go through them somewhere _safe_.”

Todd hears the growling again, this time just a little bit louder, and he flinches, moving closer to Dirk again.

“You guys grab the files, I’ll handle him,” he tells Farah, who nods and goes over to the table and starts stacking the files together.

Amanda spares Todd a worried glance before helping Farah, and Todd turns to Dirk, grabbing a hold of the man’s arms. Dirk makes a choked, terrified sound and tries to pull away, but Todd had been expecting that and holds him fast, gripping him almost painfully tight. Dirk shakes his head, his eyes squeezed shut.

“No, please, I don’t want to go back,” he whimpers, and Todd’s heart makes an uncomfortable flip behind his ribs.

“Dirk,” he says, as softly as he can manage. “Dirk, it’s me, it’s Todd. You’re okay.”

Dirk still doesn’t seem to hear him, and Todd pulls him close, wrapping an arm over his shoulders and moving his other hand to wrap it around the back of Dirk’s neck, nudging his head down until their foreheads meet.

“Dirk,” Todd says, staring hard at the man’s closed eyes. “Listen to me; whatever you’re seeing, wherever it is that you _think_ you are. It’s not _real_. You’re here with me, with Amanda and Farah. You’re safe, Dirk.”

Dirk whimpers, his nose scrunching up almost comically before his eyelids slowly peel open and Todd’s breath catches in his throat at how _blue_ and _petrified_ they are.

“Todd?” Dirk breathes, his tone weighing heavily with uncertainty.

“Yeah,” Todd says back, loosening his hold on Dirk’s neck.

Dirk inhales slowly, shakily. “Your eyes are blue,” he says, soft and quiet.

Todd smiles wryly. “So are yours,” he tells him, before pulling away and letting go of the man. “We gotta go, but we’re talking about this later.”

Dirk’s face falls at that, and he looks down at the ground as he clutches at his flashlight tightly. He gives a curt nod.

“Guys, we’re leaving,” Farah calls out to them.

Todd glances at her and waves her away before turning back to Dirk. He’s still staring down at the ground, and with a sigh, Todd grabs his wrist and pulls him along as he follows after Farah and Amanda, not missing the surprised gasp coming from the man, nor the jump in his own pulse at the skin contact.

The growling is gone, replaced by quiet little snarls, but Todd’s too busy trying to ignore Dirk’s warmth under his palm as they hurriedly exit the building to really notice.

\---

Surprisingly, Dirk’s the only one that can really stomach the contents in the folders Farah and Amanda had grabbed, although the disgusted look on his face doesn’t falter even once.

Todd had thrown up after encountering a gruesome picture of a bisected alligator in the first folder he’d been going through, while Amanda had outright refused to look at any. Farah had dropped them off at the motel Todd and Amanda had been staying at before leaving to gather ‘supplies’, which she hadn’t bothered to elaborate to them.

It’s been almost three hours since they’d left the facility, and it’s close to dawn already.

Amanda had fallen asleep in her bed next to the window, while Todd had been watching Dirk read through the files on the sofa on the other side of the room, the only other furniture besides the two beds in there. Todd had been dozing off, to be honest, but he keeps jerking awake because of the intermittent growling.

He’s also dying to ask Dirk what the fuck had happened in the facility. He’d been about to, when Amanda had started snoring softly about an hour ago, but Dirk’s face had been pinched with an emotion Todd couldn’t quite decipher as he’d looked through the files, so Todd had decided against it.

“You should sleep, Todd.”

Todd jerks to full awareness as Dirk suddenly breaks the silence around them, and he groans quietly, rubbing his hands over his face as he leans forward in the sofa.

“I’m fine,” he grumbles before looking over at Dirk.

Dirk’s looking at him from under his lashes, head still turned down towards the folder on his lap.

“I don’t really sleep,” Dirk tells him.

Todd frowns at him. “You don’t, or you can’t?” he asks.

Dirk raises his head to look at Todd fully, and Todd’s mouth goes dry when his face contorts until it’s replaced by a monstrous-looking _thing_ with decaying flesh and holes in his cheeks that have thick, fat maggots crawling out of them.

“The damned don’t sleep,” he snarls in a gravelly tone that doesn’t belong to him.

Todd jumps to his feet, at the same time Dirk throws his arms out and lunges at him and Todd shouts as he’s thrown back onto the sofa, Dirk’s weight knocking the breath out of his lungs as he lands on Todd.

“Todd!”

Todd gasps, and his vision blanks out for a split moment before it clears, and he realizes that he’s flat on his back and he doesn’t remember how that had happened, and he instinctively throws his arms up, only for hands to catch his wrists and hold him still.

“Todd!” Dirk says loudly, and Todd freezes.

It takes an uncomfortably long moment for Todd to get a hold of himself.

Dirk’s straddling him on the sofa, where he’s half-lying on top of the folders from the facility. Dirk’s face is his own again, except his brows are furrowed and his eyes are wide with worry as they stare down at Todd, and Todd is too tired to be embarrassed about their close proximity.

“I’m okay,” he manages to mumble, and Dirk’s brows furrow more.

“Are you sure?” he asks, looking at Todd up and down. “I think you were screaming loud enough to wake the neighbours.”

“The motel’s empty,” Todd tells him dryly. “It’s a weekday night in Bumfuck, USA.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Todd purses his lips, looking up until he’s staring at the ceiling instead of Dirk’s expressive eyes. “It was nothing,” he mutters. “Now get off me, you’re actually pretty heavy.”

Dirk lets go of his wrists immediately, then, practically jumping off of Todd and the sofa. But he still doesn’t give up.

“It didn’t sound like nothing,” he says, hovering by Todd’s side.

Todd groans as he sits up, wincing when his back twinges. “Fuck,” he says. “Did you find anything in the files?” he asks, looking up at Dirk.

Dirk frowns at him like he knows Todd’s just changing the subject, but he finally lets it go. Shrugging, he says, “Didn’t understand most of it.”

Todd shoots him a disbelieving look. “Well, what _did_ you understand, then?” he asks.

“Not much, either,” Dirk admits. “I _do_ know for certain who’s behind it now, however.”

Todd remembers his panic attack at the facility, and softens the frown on his face and the tone of his voice as he asks, “You gonna tell me what happened?”

Dirk makes a face, and turns around, walking over to the door of the room.

“Actually, I think we should go have breakfast, first,” he says hastily.

Todd glares at his back as he stands from the sofa, and Dirk’s already halfway out the door by time Todd catches up to him.

_Fucking long legs._

“Dirk!” Todd says as Dirk walks quickly out into the parking lot in front of the motel.

Dirk doesn’t slow down, and he starts bending down and scanning the underside of the cars parked there without even stopping, and Todd makes a frustrated sound before he manages to grab a hold of Dirk’s arm and pull him to a stop.

“You can’t run away from this, Dirk,” he snaps as the other man turns to look at him, a surprised look on his face like he’d never expected such aggression from Todd.

“What about _you_ running away from that crossroads demon?” Dirk shoots back.

Todd’s eyes widen as he stares at Dirk, and his grip on the man’s arm loosens with his shock.

Initial shock, anyway. In an instant, Todd feels anger instead. Anger and suspicion, and even as regret dawns on Dirk’s face, Todd blindly grabs the other man’s shoulders and shoves him against the nearest hard surface, which happens to be the back of a pickup truck.

“How did you know that?” Todd snarls at him, shaking him against the pickup. “Are you a fucking demon, too?”

Dirk makes a pained sound, but he doesn’t struggle against him, the expression on his face helplessly regretful and pitying at the same time as he looks at Todd.

“I- I don’t,” he stammers out, flinching when Todd’s glare hardens on him. “I swear, Todd, I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry.”

Todd sneers at him, gripping his shoulders tighter, not believing a word he’s saying and hoping vindictively that Dirk really is a demon so that Todd can have the pleasure of booting his fucking ass back to Hell.

“I never told _anyone_ about that,” Todd growls at him, giving him another shake. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Dirk. Or is that not even your _real_ name?”

Dirk flinches again, and there’s a faint shimmer of gathering tears in his eyes, and Todd’s almost stunned at the sight.

“It’s what I do,” Dirk says helplessly. “I- I get hunches, and- and _feelings_ , and sometimes I say things without _thinking_. It’s- it’s a curse, and I can’t _control_ it, Todd.” His expression shutters as he adds, painfully weak, “I’m _sorry_.”

Something lands heavily onto the cargo bed of the pickup behind Dirk’s head, then, and they both jump in shock. Todd pulls Dirk away from it, and they look over at it, only for something black to lunge out from the bed and onto the ground next to their feet.

It’s-

It’s a _shark-kitten_ , just like Dirk had described, and Todd lets got of Dirk to gape down at it.

“Oh my god, shark-kitten!” Dirk cries out excitedly, bending down to gather the- the _thing_ into his arms.

“Hey, no, no,” Todd protests, shaking his head. “Dirk, it’s _dangerous_! Don’t touch it!”

Dirk ignores him completely, hugging the shark-kitten close to his chest and smiling widely as he strokes its fur. The shark-kitten nuzzles its nose into Dirk’s chin, and the man giggles at the feeling.

“Don’t be silly, Todd, she’s completely harmless,” Dirk tells Todd, rolling his eyes and shifting on his feet until the shark-kitten is turned towards Todd. “Pet her, go ahead.”

Todd scowls and gives Dirk a flat stare. “It killed Patrick,” he says.

Dirk makes a face and pulls shark-kitten closer to himself. “I’m sure it was an accident.”

The shark-kitten meows, then, and yawns widely, and they both stare at it as several rows of tiny, razor-sharp, shark’s teeth are exposed on its gums before it stretches and nuzzles its nose into Dirk’s chest.

“Yeah,” Todd says, still staring at the shark-kitten. “An accident. Right.”

“Maybe Patrick was trying to brush her teeth and accidentally fell into her mouth?” Dirk tries sheepishly.

Todd gives him an unimpressed stare, but Dirk’s expression freezes suddenly, his eyes widening as he stares at something over Todd’s shoulder. Todd frowns and turns to look, but Dirk’s grabbing his wrist and dragging him back the way they’d come before he can see anything.

“We have to leave,” he says in a rushed, panicked tone. “We’ve got to go, _now_! Since yesterday!”

“What are you talking about?” Todd demands, panting as he struggles to keep up with Dirk’s pace. “Dirk, what the fuck!”

“No time to explain,” Dirk says, only just sparing a glance at Todd, his face pained. “We need to get Amanda and get out of here!”

Dirk nearly tears the doorknob off in his rush to open the door to their room, and Todd hovers in the doorway as Dirk rushes inside and starts making a ruckus trying to wake Amanda up. Frowning, Todd turns around and looks over at the parking lot, seeing nothing suspicious.

At least, not until a beat-up van with graffiti all over it pulls up, and stops in the middle of one of the lanes. Frown deepening, Todd watches as four men pile out of it, each of them shouting and hollering, dressed in the most stereotypical punk styles Todd’s ever seen, even back when he was part of that world. One of them in particular, someone that seems to scream ‘Alpha male’ to Todd, is quieter than the rest, looking around critically over the rim of his glasses.

His gaze falls on Todd, and Todd freezes as their eyes meet, and the man gives him a smirk.

“Over there, boys!” Todd hears the man shout, pointing a finger in Todd’s direction, and the other three men cheer as they climb over cars - smashing in a few windows along the way - as they rush towards Todd.

Todd whirls around on his feet, only to bump right into Dirk.

“It’s too late,” Dirk says miserably. Before Todd can say anything, Dirk shoves the shark-kitten he’s still holding into Todd’s arms. “They won’t hurt you if you stay out of their way,” he tells Todd, squaring his shoulders and trying to look brave - which he’s failing terribly because his lips are quivering.

“What do you mean?” Todd asks him, glancing over his shoulder and feeling alarmed when he sees the men are only a few feet away. “Shit, Dirk, get inside!” he says to Dirk, trying to nudge the man back into the room.

Dirk shakes his head, sidestepping Todd and moving closer towards the parking lot.

“What are you doing?” Todd hisses at him, bewildered.

“That’s the Rowdy 3,” Dirk tells him in that same miserable tone.

Todd gapes at him in confusion. “There’s _four_ of them!” he says incredulously.

“I’m _wildly_ aware, Todd,” Dirk says over his shoulder, still somehow managing to sound patronizing, at least until he squeaks as the men finally reach them and crowd around him, shouting and hollering loudly.

Dirk cowers from them, hunching into himself, but he doesn’t make any move to fight them off or even escape.

“Hey, leave him alone!” Todd yells, moving towards them, but one of the men is suddenly up in his face, swinging a bat in his hands, and Todd staggers backwards in shock.

“Don’t get in the way, shorty,” the man says, his eyes manic and wide. “It’s feeding time!”

Todd’s brows furrow in confusion at his words, but the bat looks _deadly_ , and he can’t do anything but watch helplessly as the man goes back to the rest of his gang and they stand around Dirk in a circle.

“Trick or treat!” the shortest one of them shrieks right in Dirk’s face. “We’re getting treats!”

“It’s not Halloween for another 15 hours and 20 minutes!” another one protests. “We’re not dressed yet!”

Dirk makes a choked sound as he covers his head with his arms, and Todd stares as a blue and violet glow starts emitting from him and rise up in streams and disappear into the strangers’ faces. They make groaning, satisfied sounds, and it lasts for only seconds, but to Todd, it feels like forever before the lights finally disappear and the men shudder in unison.

“Good ‘ole Icarus,” one of them says, shaking his head like a dog shaking off its wet fur. “Been too long, buddy!”

“Not long enough,” Dirk groans as he falls to the ground, his legs folding under him. He’s shuddering almost violently, wrapping his arms around himself.

“You made friends, boy?” one of the men asks, the bespectacled one, his eyes half-lidded as he looks over at Todd.

“God, please just leave,” Dirk says, pleadingly. “He’s not like us!”

“Not the walking dead,” the bespectacled man says, and Todd tenses up as his eyes move to somewhere over Todd’s shoulder. “Someone else in there, yeah?”

Todd glares at him with a bravery that he’s internally lacking. “Fuck off,” he snaps, but the man just laughs.

“We’ll be back,” he says, tilting his head and saluting Todd before slowly backing away and turning around. “Let’s go boys!”

“12 hours, 30 minutes, 42 seconds!” one of the men says suddenly as they all start filing after their leader. “Wasn’t scared enough to last longer than that!”

“Should’ve made more sounds!” another one yells. “I can smash that car over there, make the engine boom!”

“It’s too quiet here!” another one loudly agrees.

Todd doesn’t move until the men all get back into their van, and then he’s scrambling towards Dirk, dropping to his knees next to him and putting the shark-kitten on the ground to touch Dirk’s shoulder.

“Jesus, what the fuck was _that_?” he asks, aware that his voice is bordering on hysterical. “Are you okay?”

Dirk shakes his head, giving Todd a weak grin. “Give me- just give me a moment,” he stammers out, wincing. “It’s been a while.”

“ _Been a while_?” Todd echoes him, astonished. “What the hell, Dirk, what the fuck were they?”

Dirk shudders, eyes falling shut. “Family,” he says. “In a way. They’re vampires.”

“ _Vampires_!”

Dirk flinches at Todd’s loud tone, but before Todd can demand an explanation, Amanda comes stomping out of the room, her hair a wild mess and her clothes hanging off of her haphazardly.

“What the fuck is going on?” she demands, her eyes wide and panicked.

Todd shoots Dirk a pointed look, to which he groans in response to.

\---

They’re all gathered in a booth at a nearby diner half an hour later, waiting for Farah.

“Explain,” Todd says flatly after the waitress brings them their drinks.

Dirk shrinks into his seat opposite Todd, staring down at the table between them miserably.

“It’s complicated,” he mutters in a sulky tone.

“Four sentences or less,” Todd advises him.

“Start with what the fuck you woke me up at the asscrack of dawn for,” Amanda adds from next to Todd.

Dirk cringes apologetically. “I-” he starts, stopping for a moment and swallowing nervously. He glances between the two of them and swallows again before he continues, “The Rowdy 3 are incubi, except they feed on brain waves or something instead of sexual energy. They were altered in a military programme run by hunters that aimed to weaponize supernatural creatures.”

Todd stares at him at the explanation, not quite able to decide whether he believes that or not. Dirk seems to notice this, because he makes a face and defensively adds, “I’m not making it up!”

“You said they were _family_ ,” Todd bites out, scowling. “Are _you_ an incubus, too?”

Which would explain all the weird feelings Todd’s been getting around the man, which sucks balls, if he’s honest - except, Todd’s never honest, least of all about _feelings_ \- but Dirk makes another face, looking almost insulted.

“I am no such thing!” he says haughtily. “I’m just a normal person! Just a normal, average guy that doesn’t feed on people’s terror and panic!”

“Then what?” Amanda asks. “Were you- were you in that program, too?”

Dirk’s expression darkens at her question, and he turns to stare out the window. “I was,” he mumbles.

“What are _you_ , then?” Todd asks, regretting it immediately when Dirk’s expression crumbles for a split second before he manages to school it into a mask of practised blankness.

“Everything is connected,” he says quietly, slowly. “But only I can see it. I'm not psychic. But I am... _something_.” He inhales sharply, shaking his head and looking back down at the table. “When I was young, I would get... intuitions about things, little hunches about the way the Universe worked. But they never- it was like reading in another language, like signs with symbols I didn't understand.”

Todd shares a look with Amanda, who shrugs at him and gives him a ‘no idea’ look.

“The program was called Project Blackwing,” Dirk continues, and when Todd looks back at him, his expression is flat and emotionless, the dangerous glint in his eyes that Todd had seen the previous night returning, except, Todd’s starting to understand that it’s not so much dangerous as it is a danger to _himself_.

The realization hits Todd like a tonne of bricks; even more so as Dirk says, “They made us do _tests_ , and if we failed, they hurt us. The Rowdy 3 passed, but they- well, you saw how they were. Not exactly soldier material. They’ve been hurt, too.”

“Dirk,” Amanda says softly. Dirk flinches when Amanda leans over and reaches a hand out to touch his shoulder gently. “Hey, you’re not there, anymore, right? You’re okay.”

Dirk’s expression breaks, and he looks at her like a lost puppy, his eyes watering with unshed tears. Amanda smiles at him, squeezing his shoulder.

“You’re with us now,” she tells him. “And we take care of each other.”

“They’re here,” Dirk chokes out, glancing between her and Todd fearfully. “Or they’re coming here. That symbol on the files, it’s another project.”

Amanda pulls her hand away and looks at him in confusion. “Why is that bad?” she asks.

“ _I_ escaped,” Dirk explains shaking his head. “With the Rowdy 3. But not all of the projects _wanted_ to leave the program.”

“So this project making the chimeras, they’re bad?” Todd asks.

“The baddest,” Dirk agrees vehemently. “And if they’re here, Blackwing is, too. When they come here, they’ll find me.” Dirk shudders, wrapping his arms around himself. “I can’t go back there,” he murmurs helplessly, gazing down at the table again.

“Well, why don't you, you know, use your hunches or whatever to keep yourself safe?” Todd says.

Dirk huffs out a sardonic laugh, shaking his head. “Because that's not how it works,” he says bitterly. “The hunches don't help me- _ever_. That’s why I became a Holistic Detective. I figured I might as well use my _abilities_ to try to help other people.” He looks at Todd, his expression almost shy as he adds, “You're the first person who’s tolerated my presence long enough to help _me_.”

Todd’s heart almost break at the admission, and every single mean thing he’s said or thought about Dirk flits through his mind, although they haven’t known each other long enough for it to be a very long list. Still, he feels the familiar bite of guilt gnawing at his gut, and Todd struggles to not look away from Dirk’s earnest gaze.

“So, we leave,” Amanda declares, looking between Dirk and Todd like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Fuck the case, we already know who’s behind it, and it’s _way_ beyond our pay grade. Hunters in the fucking _government_? What are we, the X-Files?”

Dirk looks over at her, his expression becoming miserable. “I can’t leave,” he says. “I have to do whatever it is the Universe wants me to do here first. It brought me here for a reason.”

“Well, how do you know you haven’t already done it?” Todd asks, frowning. “You said even Patrick didn’t know why he hired you. Maybe it’s nothing to do with his murder or the chimeras at all.”

Dirk visibly freezes at that, and he looks back at Todd slowly, his brows furrowing. “Well,” he says before stopping and looking confused. “I’m not sure,” he confesses. “I haven’t gotten a new case. Usually if I’ve done what I need to do, I get a new case.”

“Well, if it’s a case you want, how about _I_ give you one,” Amanda says, shrugging. Dirk raises a brow at her skeptically and Amanda sighs. “Look,” she says. “You telling us all that stuff about yourself? It’s really cool of you, Dirk. I appreciate that.” She looks over at Todd and says, “It’s only fair we tell you about us, right?”

Todd frowns at her, not liking the sound of that. As much as he likes and feels bad for Dirk, he and Amanda only have each other in the world. He doesn’t trust anyone with his life besides his sister, and he’s confident she feels the same way. But Amanda gives him a pointed look, and when Todd glances over at Dirk, he’s looking between them with a cautiously hopeful look on his face, and Todd sighs before nodding curtly.

Amanda grins widely, punching him lightly in the shoulder, and Todd feigns hurt, rubbing at his shoulder, even though he kind of feels like he’s done something right.

“So, here’s the deal,” Amanda says to Dirk, folding her arms over the table. Dirk mirrors her, listening eagerly with a small, excited smile on his face. “We’re from a hunter family. Like, generations and generations of that shit. The enthusiastic kind, too; it’s all shoot first, ask questions _never_ , you know? Then, one day, back in Jesus’s time or whatever, some demon with a grudge put a curse on us. Fed one of the babies demon’s blood.”

Dirk’s eyes widen at that part, and Amanda nods, making a face. “Yeah, I know right?” she says wryly. “Hell doesn’t have aids, I guess. Anyway, nobody knew about it until the kid’s all grown up and has his own family, and one of his kids ends up with pararibulitis. That’s when shit got real, except, there’s no way to break the curse. At least, not that anyone could find. Luckily for them, it’s only one kid in every generation, so whenever one of the cursed kids turns up, they just disown them.”

“That sounds awful,” Dirk gasps, gaping. “Your family throws babies out?”

“No, Dirk, the disease usually shows up way after puberty,” Amanda says, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, it wouldn’t be so bad if other hunters didn’t know about it. And try to kill all the cursed kids when they meet them. They think they’re helping by wiping out our ‘tainted’ blood.”

“Hunters are assholes,” Dirk says, echoing what Amanda had told him during their first meeting.

Amanda nods emphatically. “Totally, dude,” she agrees.

“Why do you and Todd keep hunting, then?” Dirk asks, glancing between them curiously. “I mean, why not just hide away somewhere hunters won’t find you?”

Amanda scoffs at him. “Have you _met_ us?” she asks. “We’re fucking _badass_ , Dirk. You don’t keep this level of badassery to yourself if you could do something to help people.”

“Besides,” Todd cuts in, giving Amanda an exasperated look. “We think we might have found a way to break the curse,” he tells Dirk.

Dirk’s eyes widen and he grins at him. “How?” he asks.

“We think that if we find the demon that originally cursed our family and find a way to permanently kill him, the curse will be broken,” Todd says in a hushed tone.

“Oh, that’s smart,” Dirk says, looking impressed. “How are you planning on finding him?”

Todd makes a face and sighs. “That’s where we hit a dead end,” he admits. “Demons don’t give out their real names, so we still haven’t been able to find the one that did this.”

“Which brings us to my proposal,” Amanda says, grinning at Dirk. “Mr. Holistic Detective, will you help us find the fuckfaced Hellbitch that straddled me with this pain in the ass disease?”

Dirk stares at her, looking lost again. “I- Well, I mean,” he stammers out, glancing at Todd. “I’m not sure if that would work,” he says uneasily.

Todd feels his stomach sinking at Dirk’s words, but then he remembers something, and he leans over the table excitedly.

“Dirk, remember what you told me, last night?” he asks.

“That I was likely to die of an infection in that facility?” Dirk guesses.

Todd rolls his eyes. “No, not that, _before_ that,” Todd says impatiently. “When I was waiting for Amanda in that alley.”

“What were you doing in an alley?” Amanda asks him incredulously.

Todd waves her away, casually answering, “Smoking a joint, that’s not the point, Amanda.”

Dirk frowns, thinking hard, and Todd sees the moment he remembers, too, his face lighting up like Christmas had come early, and Todd feels a smile forming on his own lips, helpless to stop it as Dirk looks almost as cheerful as when he’d first approached Todd.

“I had a hunch that I needed to talk to you!” Dirk says excitedly. “Oh my god, Todd, you’re a _genius_!”

“What if the whole point of you coming here was to meet us?” Todd says, smile widening. “That’s the connection, right? What are the odds of you talking to me last night, that _we_ came here to hunt your client’s murderer?”

“Damn, dude, when did you get so smart?” Amanda teases, and Todd rolls his eyes at her.

“That means if I leave with you, nothing bad would happen!” Dirk says, looking immensely relieved and happy. “The Universe won’t bite me in the bum for it later! Hah!”

“So, it’s settled, then?” Amanda says, leaning back into her seat with a pleased look on her face. “Let’s get the fuck out of dodge. After Farah gets here, of course.” Her expression becomes thoughtful as she looks over at Todd and adds, “You know what? Since we’re recruiting, let’s ask Farah to come with us, too.”

Todd thinks about arguing against that - still wary of telling anyone else about his and Amanda’s situation - but Amanda looks excited at the prospect, so he sighs and shrugs.

“I guess getting separate rooms would be more worth it with four people,” he concedes and Amanda cheers.

“I’ve always wanted to have a sister,” she gushes.

“Please tell me you’ve never stared at my ass the way you do at hers,” Todd deadpans and Amanda punches him in the shoulder.

“Shut up,” she says, but there’s no heat behind her words, and she’s still smiling. “She’s packing, dude.”

Todd laughs, but his good mood is dampened when he looks over at Dirk and sees that he’s frozen stiff in his seat, his expression blank as he stares at the table, wide-eyed.

“Dirk?” Todd says, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Shit, you’re not, like, homophobic, are you?” Amanda asks apprehensively, noticing his reaction, too. “I thought you were gay.”

Dirk’s lips part and close a few times in response, like a fish out of water, and when he looks up at Todd, the terror in his eyes is so intense, Todd feels it, too.

“The napkin,” he finally says after a long moment, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “The waitress put it under your mug…”

Frowning, Todd looks down at his coffee, and sure enough, there’s a napkin under it. He hadn’t noticed it, and now that he’s looking at it, he realizes that there’s something written on it, half-obscured by the ceramic. Todd moves the mug out of the way and picks up the napkin, frown deepening as he takes in what’s been scratched onto it with a black pen.

“ _’Hi, Icarus’_?” he reads out loud. There’s a smiley face drawn next to that, with crosses for eyes.

“It’s Mr. Priest,” Dirk says, in that same, terrified, hushed tone. “We’re too late.”

“Who’s Mr. Priest?” Amanda asks.

Dirk doesn’t reply, doesn’t move. Todd thinks he’s even stopped breathing, and then Amanda’s phone rings and she pulls it out, frowning when she sees the caller ID.

“Farah, where are you?” she says as she answers it. Todd watches as her brows furrow at whatever it is that Farah tells her, and then her face darkens. “Fuck,” she says. “Okay, what’s the plan? Uh-huh. Alright. Got it. Be careful.”

“What did she say?” Todd asks when Amanda hangs up.

“We’re surrounded,” she tells him quietly, looking out the window with narrowed eyes. “She’s guessing government, from the looks of them. She’s got a car running a block away, and she’s on the roof of the opposite building. She’ll cover us.”

“It’s no use,” Dirk says, and they both turn to look at him. He’s shaking his head, his whole demeanour screaming resignation. “Mr. Priest won’t let me get away.” He looks up at them with remorse in his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out.

Todd scowls, snapping at him, “We’re getting you out of here, Dirk.”

Dirk smiles weakly at him. “I wish- I really wanted this to work out,” he says sadly.

“There’s a back entrance next to the toilets, I saw it on the way in,” Amanda tells Todd, slipping out of the booth. “You keep Dirk safe, I’ll lead.”

Dirk looks at her fearfully, saying, “He’ll kill you.”

Amanda scoffs, pulling her gun out from behind her. “I wrestled a wendigo in Oregon last year,” she says casually. “What’s a fucking priest compared to that?”

“He’s a demon,” Dirk says quietly.

“Well, with any luck, he’s _our_ demon, and the curse gets lifted when we ghost him,” Todd says, getting out of the booth, too.

He goes over to Dirk’s side and takes his hand, pulling him out and to his feet. Dirk goes heavily, looking at him hopelessly.

“I don’t want you two to die,” he says, an underlying desperation in his voice.

Todd smiles at him wryly. “Then don’t slow us down,” he tells him. “We’re getting you out of here, Dirk.”

Dirk’s eyes water rapidly at that, and Todd turns to Amanda to stop the butterflies starting to do cartwheels in his stomach at the sight.

“Ready when you are, sis,” he tells her.

Amanda smirks at him before she strides towards the toilets, and Todd follows quickly, gripping Dirk’s hand tight in his as he draws his own gun with his free hand. No one stops them as they head out the back door, but there’s three uniformed men waiting outside, heavily-armoured.

They don’t even have a chance to say anything before Amanda shoots them in their legs and arms, and they crumple to the ground with cries of pain. Amanda doesn’t slow down, moving down the alley behind the diner and towards the street at the other end. There’s a black SUV on the other side of the street there, and its engine revs as it starts moving towards them.

“Run!” Amanda shouts at Todd and Dirk, taking her own advice and sprinting past the SUV into another alley.

Dirk makes an alarmed sound as Todd follows suit, pulling him along, and Todd feels adrenaline pumping through his body as they hear the SUV gaining on them. Amanda skids to a stop next to a dumpster pushed up against a stone fence and stops to help Todd and Dirk onto it.

There’s gunshots as the SUV gets closer, and Dirk shrieks as Amanda climbs over the wall and Todd ducks low to keep from getting shot. Some of the bullets end up in the stone wall next to them, and Todd pushes Dirk towards it hurriedly.

“Climb, climb, climb!” he shouts, and Dirk scrambles over the wall clumsily, grunting when his foot catches over the edge of the wall and he falls face-first onto the other side.

Todd climbs after him immediately, but a bullet grazes him in the side of his calf, and he bites his lip to keep from screaming as pain explodes through his leg. He manages to get over the wall before any more bullets can make themselves at home inside him, and Dirk and Amanda catch him on the other side.

“You’re bleeding,” Dirk says in a panicked tone, staring wide-eyed down at Todd’s leg.

Todd winces, shaking his head. “Just a graze,” he bites out. “Let’s go!”

Dirk pulls Todd’s arm over his shoulder to support him and Amanda leads them down the side of the building they’re behind. Todd can still move enough to jog, so it doesn’t really feel like he’s slowing them down. It’s fucking _painful_ , though, and he knows Dirk’s about this close to breaking down in guilty tears next to him.

They get to another street, and Amanda points down it, a few yards away. There’s a car there, black and nondescript.

“Over there,” Amanda says, panting for breath.

They’re halfway to the car when a gunshot rings through the air and Todd can’t help the cry of pain that forces itself past his lips as a bullet pierces his injured leg, this time lodging itself inside. Todd drops to his knees, bringing Dirk down with him.

“Todd!” Dirk says frantically, looking down at Todd’s leg as Todd turns over onto his ass and clutches at it.

“Fuck,” he hisses, gritting his teeth.

Amanda doubles back from where she’d been ahead of them, and kneels down on the ground on Todd’s other side, pulling his arm over her shoulder.

“Come on, we both need to carry him,” she tells Dirk urgently.

Dirk flails for a moment before he pulls Todd’s other arm back over his shoulder, and the two of them hoist Todd up to his feet. Todd grunts in pain as his leg throbs, and he sags unwillingly between them.

“What’s the hurry, Icarus?” an amused voice carries over to them on the street.

Todd can practically _feel_ as Dirk’s heart thumps through his chest rapidly with terror, and his whole body goes stiff as a board. With a frown, Todd looks over at the source of the voice, and sees a tall, blond man with a coolly smug look on his face walking towards them, his steps slow and nonchalant.

He’s dressed in a t-shirt and a vest, with cargo pants tucked into thick-soled combat boots, and in one of his gloved hands, he’s clutching a gun.

“Don’t you wanna introduce me to your new friends?” the man asks, and the smile he gives them is a level of nasty that Todd’s only seen on demon-possessed people.

“He’s going to kill you,” Dirk says breathlessly, his face turned toward Todd’s neck, his voice as shaky as his body as he starts trembling minutely. “He’s going to kill you…”

“Dirk,” Todd says softly.

“Who the fuck are you?” Amanda demands, using her other hand to point her gun at the stranger.

“I’m family,” the man tells her, shrugging before he stops, just a few feet away from them. He looks at Dirk, feigning hurt. “I’m offended, Icarus. Didn’t you tell ‘em ‘bout me? After all the fun we’ve had? And to think, we went to all that trouble to get you here. Patrick Spring’s rollin’ in his grave.”

Dirk shakes his head jerkily, finally looking up and over at the stranger. “Don’t hurt them,” he chokes out, desperate and pleading. “Please, I’ll come back, just please don’t hurt them.”

The man tilts his head, raising a brow delicately. “Now, why would I wanna do that, boy?” he asks patronizingly. Then he chuckles and smiles nastily again. “Oh, right, because that’s what happens around you, ain’t it? You get people hurt.”

Dirk makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat. “I- I don’t mean to,” he says desperately, a child-like remorse in his voice. “Please, Mr. Priest.”

“See, Icarus, I would _love_ to let your friends go,” the man - Mr. Priest - says, shaking his head with mock sadness. “There’s truly nothing more that I’d like to do right now. But you done gone and got them caught up in your mess, didn’t you? And _I’ve_ got to clean it up.”

“I’m _sorry_ ,” Dirk whimpers.

Todd frowns at the sound, squeezing Dirk’s shoulder before he glares at Mr. Priest.

“Leave him alone, asshole,” he snaps. “He’s coming with us. You can’t take him, it’s _illegal_.”

The man regards him coolly, his eyes hard and emotionless like flat stones in a river. “Baby, I’m the government,” Mr. Priest says, throwing his hands out nonchalantly. “And that boy you’re trying to play hero for? He’s government _property_. I’m just collectin’ what’s ours.”

“Dirk’s a person, not a _thing_ ,” Amanda says angrily, her gun shaking in her grip with her fury.

Mr. Priest’s gaze wanders over to her, and Todd has to fight down the urge to push his sister behind him and shield her from it.

“Is that so?” he asks, sounding amused. “What’re you gonna do ‘bout it, Ms. Brotzman?”

Todd’s eyes widen at that, and Mr. Priest laughs. “Yeah, that’s right,” he says. “I know all ‘bout the two of you. Rogue hunters, stricken with an age-old demon’s curse. Cast out by your own blood, ostracized by your own kind. I know why Icarus would latch onto you. No one would bat an eye if either of you died.”

“I don’t want them to die,” Dirk protests, flinching when that gets Mr. Priest’s attention back on him.

“But we both know that’s how this story ends, don’t we, Icarus?” he says, amused. “Now, be a good boy and sit still while I clean out the trash. Hell of a way to celebrate an anniversary, don’t you think?”

Todd’s about to tell the man to shut the fuck up and stop talking to Dirk when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye, and realizes that Farah’s on the roof of the building to their left.

“Hey, asshole,” Todd calls out, and Mr. Priest looks at him flatly. Todd smirks, telling him, “Catch.”

Mr. Priest frowns, at the same time Farah shoots, catching him in the shoulder, and he grunts as he staggers from the impact, clutching at his wound.

“Let’s go,” Todd hisses, and Amanda pulls them round, dragging them the rest of the way towards the car.

Todd’s grateful that Dirk’s not affected enough to not react, and they manage to get into the car, and Amanda’s getting it into gear as Mr. Priest recovers and starts shooting at them, laughing maniacally. A bullet manages to crack the back window and Todd flinches as he lies flat on the back seats.

“Stay down!” he shouts at Dirk, who’s sitting in the front passenger seat,

Dirk makes a choked sound, dropping forward onto his lap and covering his head with his arms as Amanda speeds them away. They can still hear the gunshots, but they’re far away enough that the bullets don’t reach them. Still, Todd feels like he can’t breathe until they’re at least ten blocks away, and even then, his throat feels constricted as the gravity of what had happened finally starts dawning on him.

“I fucking love Farah,” he chokes out, and Amanda bursts out laughing hysterically.

“I told you she’s kickass,” she says between huffs of breaths.

“Dirk, you okay over there?” Todd calls out as he sits up with a wince.

Dirk’s still bent over his legs, seemingly not moving, and Todd frowns at him worriedly.

“Dirk?” he says cautiously.

He sees Dirk’s shoulders shaking, and there’s muffled sounds coming from him. Todd shares a look with Amanda in the rearview mirror.

“Hey, Dirk, we got away, dude,” Amanda tells him coaxingly. “We’re alive.”

Dirk doesn't react to her words, at least, Todd doesn’t think so, but then he straightens up slowly, unfurling from his position until his back’s flat against his seat, and Todd sees that his eyes are wide and there are fresh tear tracks running down his cheeks.

But it’s the wide, disbelieving grin on his face that has Todd’s heart skipping beats.

“We got away,” he says quietly, an awed tone in his voice.

“Yeah, we did,” Amanda agrees, looking over at him with a grin of her own.

“We _escaped_ ,” Dirk says, looking back at her.

“We did, Dirk,” Amanda says.

Dirk cranes his neck to look back at Todd, and Todd’s breath catches in his throat at the full force of Dirk’s happiness.

“You’re alive,” Dirk says.

Todd smiles at him weakly. “So are you,” he says, and Dirk’s eyes widen.

“I’m still free,” he says in that same awed tone, like he can’t quite believe it.

“Well, you’re stuck with us, so free’s a little bit of an exaggeration,” Todd jokes. “Seriously, we’re both overprotective. You’re gonna be with at least one of us 24/7.”

Dirk’s eyes start watering, but his grin doesn’t even waver. Then his expression freezes and he makes another choked sound.

“You were _shot_!” he cries out, turning in his seat and leaning around it to look down at Todd’s leg.

“Just a graze,” Todd says dismissively, although with the adrenaline wearing off, the throbbing pain comes back with a vengeance, and he winces.

“Don’t be a baby,” Amanda says, rolling her eyes. “We’ve had worse.”

“But he’s _bleeding_!” Dirk protests.

“We’ll get a first-aid kit at a gas station,” Amanda says, shrugging. “Besides, Farah’s gonna text me somewhere to meet outside town. Todd can hold out until then.”

“I’m fine, Dirk,” Todd says, but Dirk frowns sadly at his leg. “Seriously, it hurts more when you look at it.”

Dirk’s eyes widen and he looks up immediately, keeping his eyes trained elsewhere, and Todd laughs, shaking his head fondly at the man’s actions.

“I’ve been shot before,” he says. “For much less.”

Dirk looks at him with uncertainty. “If you say so,” he says reluctantly.

“Hey, remember that time I shot you in the arm during practice?” Amanda says suddenly, and Todd groans.

“Don’t _remind_ me,” he grumbles.

“Fun times,” Amanda replies, giggling.

“I wouldn’t call getting shot as being fun,” Dirk says, frowning.

“It is if you’re the one doing the shooting,” Amanda retorts. “You should try it sometime.”

\---

They stop at a gas station almost two hours later. It’s only an hour past the town’s border, but they had to stop when Amanda had gotten an attack, and almost crashed the car. Dirk had taken over the wheel, then, but they had to change back to Amanda because his driving was worse than Amanda’s during an attack.

Farah’s already there.

There’s a motel attached to the station, and she’d already gotten them rooms. She patches up Todd’s leg because Amanda’s too worn out to hold a bandage straight, and Dirk turns out to be completely hopeless with wounds. Todd’s almost as good as new, after a couple of painkillers and some whiskey, by the time Farah brings up the elephant in the room.

“Okay, _now_ will someone explain to me what the fuck happened?” she says as Todd drops onto the bed, next to Amanda.

Todd groans at her question, and Amanda gets off the bed and lethargically throws an arm over Farah’s shoulder, leading her towards the door.

“Come on, I’ll fill you in,” she tells Farah. “Love birds need privacy, anyway.”

“Hey,” Todd protests tiredly, but Amanda just flips him a bird over her shoulder and then the two of them are gone.

Dirk’s sitting on the floor next to the bed, unusually quiet since they’d gotten there, and Todd nudges his shoulder with his foot.

“Get up here,” he tells him, too tired to be embarrassed about their sleeping arrangements for the night.

Dirk jumps, looking over his shoulder at Todd with wide eyes.

“Come on, we both need to sleep,” Todd tells him, patting the space on the bed next to him. “Can’t do that on the floor.”

“I don’t really sleep,” Dirk confesses, but he stands up and slowly climbs onto it, anyway.

Todd feels his gut churn uncomfortably at his words, reminded of his nightmare, but he stamps it down, not in the mood to feel like shit. He hasn’t heard any growling or telltale signs of hounds, and he’s still riding off the satisfaction of escaping Blackwing and Mr. Priest alive; he’s not going to let his own paranoia bring him down, not tonight. He turns over onto his side to face Dirk, who’s lying stiffly on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

“I stand by what Amanda said,” Todd says, breaking the silence in the room. Dirk turns his head to look at him, confused, and Todd clarifies, “That we take care of each other.”

“Oh,” Dirk says.

“You’re one of us, now,” Todd continues. “And I might be a little tipsy from the painkillers and the whiskey, but I’m not gonna change my mind about it.”

Dirk’s eyes start watering, and Todd almost regrets what he’s saying, except, he knows that it’s something Dirk needs to hear.

_He knows self-loathing when it’s slapping him in the face._

“Thank you,” Dirk says quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

Todd shrugs one shoulder awkwardly. “Us freaks need to stick with each other, right?” he says.

Dirk cracks a smile at that before turning back to stare up at the ceiling. Todd’s about to fall asleep when Dirk suddenly speaks.

“Todd?” he says quietly.

Todd hums, eyes falling closed.

“That thing that I said,” Dirk starts, hesitating for a moment before he continues cautiously, “About the crossroads demon.”

Todd’s eyes fly open, and he stares at the side of Dirk’s face apprehensively.

“Will you tell me about it?” Dirk asks, glancing at him nervously before looking back up at the ceiling.

Todd purses his lips, instinctively wanting to say no. Dirk notices this, and shakes his head.

“Mr. Priest is the best hunter Blackwing has,” he says, his voice subdued and his eyes glazing over. “He’s- he’s one of us, and it works in his favour. He knows how we tick, how to _make_ us tick. When I was in Blackwing, he was always in charge of my testing.”

Dirk’s expression shutters, and his lips are quivering when he says, “He knew I couldn’t control it, so he always set me up for failure just so he could have an excuse to hurt me. He said- he said my screams were the best.”

Todd reaches a hand out and grabs Dirk’s, squeezing it tightly and wishing that they’d stayed in town longer, just so he could make Mr. Priest pay for what he’d done to Dirk. Todd can’t fathom the horrible things Mr. Priest might’ve done to him, but with the way Dirk’s behaving, Todd’s not sure he _wants_ to know. But he’s sure he wants to pump the man full of lead the next time he sees him.

“I remember now,” Dirk says softly, squeezing Todd’s hand back. “I- the Rowdy 3 and I, we escaped on Halloween. Two years ago. It was cold, and- the Rowdy 3 can _smell_ me, smell the- the whatever it is that makes me get my hunches. They need it to feed. Mr. Priest wanted them to hunt me down in the woods that night.” Dirk smiles wryly, letting out a shaky breath before he adds, “He didn’t think we’d try to escape instead.”

Todd makes a sound in his throat, unsure of what to say to that. He’s trying to imagine what it might have been like for Dirk, getting thrown into the wilderness and expected to run for his life or be- well, be subjected to whatever Mr. Priest would’ve done to him, to be faced with with the likes of the Rowdy 3. Todd had only met them for a precious few minutes, but the experience had been bad enough. Todd has to re-evaluate how brave Dirk is, how _strong_ he must be, to survive such things and still be how he is now.

He’s glad Dirk had escaped, glad that he’d met him. Todd knows without a doubt that he deserves so much better, and he especially deserves the truth. Throwing caution to the wind, Todd steels his own tumultuous feelings and decides to give it to him.

“I made a deal,” Todd confesses, his voice unsteady with emotion. He’s grateful now that he’d drank the whiskey, because he’s not sure he’ll ever have the courage to come clean to anyone about this.

Dirk makes a sound, turning until he’s lying down on his side, facing Todd. His eyes are wide and expressive as he looks at Todd, shimmering with the remnants of his gathering tears.

“Nine years ago, I wanted to leave the business,” Todd says, closing his eyes, unable to take the pressure of Dirk’s gaze. “I didn’t like hunting, I wanted to go to college, run away with my band, make music. Have a _life_. But I knew that wasn’t possible. I’m the first child by my parents, and eighty percent of the time, we’re the ones that get it. Pararibulitis was always my burden to bear. My parents were already planning my disownment a week after my first attack. I guess I should’ve just been grateful they weren’t gonna kick me out without any warning.

“I was scared, and stupid, and drunk,” he bites out, jaw clenching as he recalls the night when he’d stolen his dad’s car and driven off to the crossroads he’d heard about from a couple of drunk hunters at Ellen’s bar. “I summoned a crossroads demon, and I asked her to take away the curse.”

Todd peels his eyes open, not sure what he’d been expecting to see, but certainly not Dirk’s sympathetic stare.

He doesn’t deserve sympathy.

“I should’ve known better,” Todd says bitterly. “Crossroads deals _always_ have a crutch.”

“But it worked?” Dirk says softly.

“It did,” Todd affirms, and he scowls as he feels his eyes start to sting. “I was cured, but then Amanda got it.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Dirk says, eyes widening with understanding. “Oh, _Todd_.”

“I’m the worst kind of scum, Dirk,” Todd says, and he knows he’s crying by now because his face feels wet. “I’ve never told anyone. How could I? I already hate myself for it. If Amanda ever found out- I wouldn’t blame her if she shot me in the face.”

“But you’re there for her,” Dirk says, squeezing his hand comfortingly. “Your parents kicked her out instead, but you left, too, and stayed with her. You’re a good brother, Todd.”

“It’s _my_ fault,” Todd says brokenly, sobbing.

Dirk lets go of his hand and wraps an arm over Todd’s shoulder, pulling him close, tucking Todd’s head under his chin and resting his hand over the back of Todd’s head. Todd sobs into his shirt, knowing that he doesn’t deserve this kindness, but too selfish to reject it.

“You’re a good brother, Todd,” he hears Dirk say into his hair, and Todd scoffs wetly. “And a good friend. What you did in the past doesn’t define who you are in the future. Only your decisions in the present do.”

“It’s been nine years, Dirk,” Todd chokes out, his voice muffled by Dirk’s shirt. “If we don’t- if Amanda and I don’t break the curse before the hellhounds get me, she’ll be on her own.”

“So we break it before that happens,” Dirk tells him obviously. “I mean, you two got me away from _Mr. Priest_. I’m almost sure you could fly if you wanted to, at this point.”

His joke surprises a laugh out of Todd, and Todd clutches at his shirt. He feels Dirk smile against his scalp, and Dirk’s arm tightens around him.

“I’m glad you told me, Todd,” Dirk says. “Now I know we’ve got _two_ demons to hunt down.”

Todd frowns in confusion and pulls away to look at Dirk. Dirk makes a nonchalant face, nodding.

“Since we’re going down that road, I figure why not?” he says easily. “Killing the crossroads demon will break your contract with her, then you won’t have to get dragged to Hell.”

“Seriously?” Todd says, staring at Dirk with disbelief.

“Yes, I’m sure that’s how it works,” Dirk assures him, rolling his eyes.

“No, I mean, seriously, you want to hunt down a _crossroads_ demon?” Todd clarifies.

“Yes, Todd, that was literally the _whole_ thing in what I said,” Dirk says, frowning at him. “I think the alcohol’s reacting badly to your medication.”

Todd rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” he says. “No, Dirk, if we hunt a crossroads demon, what are we gonna tell Amanda? She’ll get suspicious.”

“We find other people that she’s made deals with, then, tell Amanda we’re helping them out of their deals,” Dirk suggests. “Or, you know, you could tell her the truth.”

Todd stares at him for a moment. “Dirk,” he says slowly. “We can’t tell Amanda. _Ever_. She’ll- I don’t even know what she’ll do if she finds out.”

Dirk’s expression saddens. “Don’t you think lying to her is worse?” he says. “In my experience, lies always make themselves known, and it _never_ ends well.”

“Exactly,” Todd says vehemently. “That’s why she can’t ever find out!”

“But she will,” Dirk says, shaking his head. “One way or another. At least if you told her, it would be on your terms.”

“No,” Todd says firmly. “Amanda’s better off not knowing.” He gives Dirk a warning glare. “And you better not tell her.”

Dirk sighs. “If she finds out, it won’t be from me,” he promises reluctantly. “But we’re still hunting that demon.”

Todd rolls his eyes, too tired to argue. “Fine,” he says exasperatedly. “Our priority is the curse demon, though.”

Dirk nods, scoffing, “Of course. Amanda deserves better.”

Todd sobers up at his words, sighing heavily. “She does,” he agrees.

“So do you,” Dirk adds, and Todd makes a face. Dirk’s hand flies up to cover Todd’s mouth as he opens it to disagree with him. “No, you win one argument, I get to win the other,” Dirk says defensively. “Don’t be greedy, Todd.”

Todd rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but smile behind Dirk’s hand at the man’s insistence.

“Fine, you win,” he concedes when Dirk pulls his hand away. “Now, can I sleep? The painkillers are wearing off.”

Dirk pats him on the head, graciously saying, “Of course, Todd. Sweet dreams,” and Todd has just enough energy left to swat his hand away, smiling to himself when he hears Dirk chuckle softly in response.

\---

Svlad was huddled in the corner of the room, arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his face buried in his knees.

He could hear the matron of the orphanage talking in hushed tones behind the one door to the room, and even though he couldn’t make out any words, he had a feeling he knew exactly what was being discussed.

They were talking about him, about how he’d managed to find all the missing dogs in town just by knowing their names.

They didn’t know he didn’t; he’d just listened to that feeling in his chest that he got whenever he was doing something right. Whenever he sat alone by himself - which was always, because all the other kids were older than him, and didn’t like how small he was, or how weird he sounded when he talked - he would get feelings and somehow, he would always end up in the middle of things that he didn’t really quite understand.

Just like with the dogs.

All Svlad knew was that he’d liked the pictures of the dogs he’d seen on the posters all over town, and he’d collected them all and kept them folded in his pocket, and when he’d walked around town just to waste time and not have to be at the orphanage alone, he’d wanted to go to the park.

He hadn’t known the groundskeeper there hated dogs, or that he’d had a hidden shed in the woods behind the park that had the dogs locked up inside, waiting to be- well, Svlad didn’t know what they were waiting for, but he’d known it was _bad_. He hadn’t even known they’d been the dogs that had gone missing, he’d just herded them all out of there and back to the park.

The matron had warned Svlad before. No more funny business, or he would be transferred to another home.

Svlad didn’t want to be transferred.

This was the longest he’d stayed in one orphanage, and even though he didn’t have any friends and no one seemed likely to be adopting him any time soon, Svlad was relatively happy there. No one beat him, the food wasn’t as tasteless as the last home he’d been in, and the matron didn’t like him, but she didn’t treat him particularly cruelly, either. It was the best Svlad had ever had.

He wished fervently that he could just ignore the stupid feelings he got, so he wouldn’t be weird and punished for things he couldn’t control.

The door to the room opened, but Svlad was too scared of what he would be told to look up and see who had come in. He heard unfamiliar footsteps approaching him, and Svlad peeked over his knees to see a stranger crouched down in front of him.

He looked old, and scruffy. Like one of the missing dogs Svlad had found, and Svlad looked at him warily as the man smiled.

“Hey, Dirk,” he greeted.

Svlad frowned at him, shaking his head. “That’s not my name,” he told the man. “I’m Svlad.”

The man’s smile widened. “Sorry,” he said, although he didn’t sound sorry at all, but Svlad wasn’t an expert in how people felt, anyway. “You like flashlights, Svlad?”

The man reached behind him and pulled one out, holding it towards Svlad. It looked cartoonishly small in the man’s hand, and Svlad took it curiously, turning it around in his hands as he studied it.

“You remind me of my friend, you know,” the man said, just as Svlad belatedly realized that he’d forgotten to be polite.

“Thank you for the flashlight,” he said carefully.

The man chuckled. “It’s just a two-dollar flashlight,” he said fondly. “Sorry I don’t have anything else to give you.”

“Who are you?” Svlad asked him, not sure what the man wanted from him. He didn’t seem _bad_ , though. Just weird.

The man shrugged. “Just a guy,” he said. He stared at Svlad for a moment before he smiled again. “Do you like solving puzzles, Svlad?” he asked.

Svlad frowned as he thought of an answer. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “But I think I’m good at it.”

The man’s smile widened. “Everything is connected,” he said quietly, winking like he was telling Svlad some big secret. “Don’t you think so?”

Svlad thought of the dogs, and the park, and the grumpy old groundskeeper with bad intentions, and he thought of all the weird things that had happened to him at other homes. He thought about all that, and with a deep frown, he nodded with a sigh.

“I do,” he said tiredly.

Svlad was startled when the man suddenly patted his head with a hand before ruffling his hair, and when he pulled away, Svlad saw that his smile had gotten sad.

“What you can do, it’s special,” the man told him, and he sounded so serious that Svlad’s eyes widened in anticipation. “A gift. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise, okay?”

Svlad nodded, even though he didn’t completely agree with the man, but he looked like he meant it, and Svlad didn’t want to upset him, not when he’d given him a flashlight.

“I have to go now,” the man said, glancing over his shoulder at the door. “My friend is waiting for me.”

Svlad almost felt disappointed; the man was the nicest person that he’d ever spoken to - even though he was kind of odd - especially for an adult, and he didn’t want him to go so soon. It probably showed on his face, because the man smiled apologetically and ruffled his hair again.

“We’ll meet again,” the man told him. “I promise.”

“Sometime soon?” Svlad asked hopefully.

The man’s smile faltered, and he shook his head with a regretful look on his face. “I don’t want to lie to you,” he told Svlad. “Just- don’t give up, okay? No matter what happens, don’t _ever_ give up. That’s going to be the single most important thing that you’ll ever do in your life, Di-Svlad.”

Svlad didn’t understand what that meant, either - give up on _what_ , exactly, he wanted to ask - but the man had to leave, and it sounded important.

“Okay,” he whispered, nodding solemnly.

The man’s smile widened and he straightened back up on his feet. In the distance, another man’s voice shouted, flitting in through the one window in the room.

“Todd!” Svlad heard.

“I’ll see you again,” the man said, giving Svlad a small wave before he went over to the window. He poked his head out and shouted, “Calm down, Dirk, I’m coming!”

To Svlad’s shock, the man started climbing out the window, and he waved at Svlad again with a wide, almost crazy-looking grin before he disappeared.

Svlad was still staring at the window, trying to decide whether he’d imagined the man or if the encounter had been real - he still had the flashlight, so it _had_ to be real, right? - when the door clicked open again. Svlad hoped it would be the man, but it was a different man.

This man was old, too, but tall, and blonde, and Svlad got a terrible feeling in his gut when he looked into the man’s cold, steely eyes, even though the man was smiling down at him.

“Little Svlad Cjelli,” the man said. “You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, boy.”

And Svlad had never heard a worse-told lie in his whole life - not before then, and never again in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii.
> 
> This fic is completed, sorry if anyone wanted more (or less, in fact, haha). But yeah, there will be no continuation; it ends the way it started - right in the middle of shit. Since Supernatural is still going strong, I figured it was just poetic. I wish this crossover were canonical, though. *sighs* Anywho, hope y'all enjoyed it! Also sorry that there was no smut or even a kiss, but I didn't think that was appropriate considering the mental state of the boys in the fic. Cuddles are the best, anyway.
> 
> Also, just because I can - Mr. Priest is a skinwalker (but the animal kind; he prefers wolves, predictably).
> 
> PS: The other chapters are just bonus dialogues because I could do that and not actual fic. #sorrynotsorry


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Dialogue #1.
> 
> What happens after they leave.

T: “Is the car supposed to be making that sound?”

F: “What sound, Todd?”

T: “That- you know? The scratching and the hissing?”

F: “What scratching?”

A: “He’s right, I can hear it, too, now.”

F: “Dirk, stop messing with the damned window!”

D: “Sorry?”

T: “The scratching, guys?”

F: “Alright, I’m pulling over, okay? Jesus.”

ALL: " **…** "

T: “Why is it always the boot?”

F: “Dirk, Todd, maybe step away so I don’t accidentally shoot you two?”

A: “On three?”

F: “On three, ‘Manda.”

A: “Three!”

ALL: “Ahhhh!”

D: “ _Shark-kitten_!”

A: “Dirk, don’t touch it!”

D: “It’s _fine_ , Amanda, she’s completely harmless.”

F: “She killed Patrick!”

D: “I told you, it was an accident! … Maybe.”

T: “How the fuck did it get in there?”

F: “I don’t know, Todd, I was too busy planning how to save your asses to check the boot!”

T: “... No, Dirk.”

D: “ _What_?”

T: “I saw your face, you’re gonna ask us to let it come with.”

D: “But _Todd_!”

F: “No, actually, we should bring it.”

T: “Seriously, Farah? You’re agreeing with him?”

F: “Well, we can’t just let it loose. What if it attacks and kills someone else?”

A: “Fuck, she’s got a point.”

D: “So, we can bring her?”

F: “Yes, but you’re in charge of her, Dirk.”

D: “YES!”

T: “It’s _not_ sleeping in the room with us.”

D: “Oh, don’t worry, Todd, I’ll keep her in the bathroom. She’s half-shark, she’ll like it.”

T: “Jesus.”

F: “This is- I am not completely comfortable with this, either.”

A: “Yeah, you’re looking kind of pale. You want me to drive?”

ALL: “ ** _No_**.”

A: “What the fuck, dudes, I almost crash the car _one_ time.”

T: “Once was enough.”

A: “Whatever, you guys are all pussies.”

D: “Breathing pussies.”

ALL: “ **...** ”

D: “That came out wrong, didn’t it?”

T: “Yeah, Dirk, maybe just- let’s just get back on the road.”

F: “Good idea, Todd. Let’s.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Dialogue #2
> 
> Dirk likes to drink Todd's holy water. ~~It's not as dirty as that sounds.~~

T: “Dirk have you seen my-”

D: “Dresser, top drawer, under your last pair of clean underwear.”

T: “...”

D: “ _What?_ You asked.”

T: “Didn’t expect you to be so detailed about it.”

D: “Well, dresser, then.”

T: “That’s- never mind. Thanks.”

D: “I don’t know why you would keep the holy water there.”

T: “Because _someone_ keeps drinking it accidentally.”

D: “What? Who?”

T: “ _You_ , Dirk, what the hell.”

D: “Ooh. Well.”

T: “Yeah.”

D: “I can’t help it if I’m thirsty!”

T: “Yeah, I mean, since you know where I keep it, it’s not like that stops you, either.”

D: “I didn’t know it was holy water.”

T: “Then how did you- right. Yeah, never mind.”

D: “Amanda’s already at the house, by the way.”

T: “What? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Fuck, we need to hurry!”

D: “Oh, she’s fine, Farah got a water gun filled with holy water.”

T: “We should still be there!”

D: “Alright! Jesus, Todd, you’re so stressed out.”

T: “My sister is facing off a demon-possessed butcher with an inexperienced hunter as backup, I don’t know _why_ I could possibly be stressed, Dirk!”

D: “Well, when you put it that way- don’t let Farah hear you call her inexperienced, by the way.”

T: “Just get in the car, Dirk!”

D: “Alright, alright, honestly.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Dialogue #3.
> 
> That time when they decide that time travelling is really fucking confusing.

T: “Dirk?”

D: “Yes, Todd?”

T: “... I’m sorry we couldn’t stop him.”

D: “...”

T: “I really- ugh, fuck this, we should go back.”

D: “No, Todd! … It’s fine. This- this was supposed to happen.”

T: “... You were just a kid, Dirk.”

D: “It doesn’t matter now, does it? It _did_ happen, just like it was supposed to. We can’t change the past, Todd.”

T: “... I know. We tried.”

D: “Thank you.”

T: “For _what_? Doing absolutely nothing while the love of my life got kidnapped and experimented on by the fucking government? For _years_?”

D: “For wanting to change that. For not telling me to bugger off that night when we met. For- for telling me not to give up when I needed to hear that the most.”

T: “Y-you remember that?”

D: “... I didn’t. Not really. Blackwing- one of the things that Blackwing did to me was erase every happy memory I ever had and replacing them with bad ones. But- when I saw you- just now. It came back. And I- I think, deep down… I still remembered you.”

T: “Dirk…”

D: “So, thank you. For- for being kind.”

T: “I’m not. _You_ are, Dirk. You’re- you. You’re you and there’s nothing wrong with you. You didn’t deserve all that.”

D: “I’m me, huh. I suppose there _are_ perks to being me.”

T: “What would they be?”

D: “... Being the love of your life?”

T: “You- shut up. Stop it, we’re in public.”

D: “But you’re blushing! It’s adorable!”

T: “ _Dirk_!”

D: “Oh, did you find the amulet, though?”

T: “Of course I did. Gabriel would kill us if we came back without it.”

D: “Oh, he wouldn’t _kill_ us. Make us suffer for eternity, maybe, but nothing as simple as _killing_ us, hah.”

T: “... Right. Let’s just go. Spell’s gonna wear off soon.”

D: “You know.”

T: “Hmm?”

D: “I think- I think you’re the reason I chose Dirk.”

T: “What?”

D: “That’s what you called me, isn’t it? Dirk.”

T: “... Oh my god.”

D: “Yes. Huh. I wonder how that works.”

T: “Fucking time travel.”

D: “Let’s not think too hard about it.”

T: “ _You_ brought it up!”

D: “I couldn’t help it!”

T: “Damn it, Dirk.”

D: “... You love me for it?”

T: “... Shut up… You know I do.”

D: “I love you, too, Todd. Even though you’re emotionally constipated.”

T: “ _Seriously_?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Dialogue #4
> 
> They confront the crossroads demon and Dirk's questionable origins.

D: “Please stop moving so I can stab you! I’ve never done this before!”

CD: “What the fuck, _no_!”

T: “Dirk, just, don’t, okay? Stop! Give me that thing.”

D: “But she’s right _there_!”

T: “She’s not going to break the contract if you keep pointing that at her!”

D: “But I’m asking _nicely_!”

T: “Have you not been listening to a word we’ve said? Demons aren’t _nice_ , Dirk.”

CD: “I’m also right fucking here, you backstabbing little bitch. Should’ve known you’d try to squirm your way out of a deal. Fucking Brotzmans.”

T: “Hey! _You guys_ cursed my family first!”

CD: “That was like, way before I was even in the pit! It’s nothing to do with me!”

D: “So break his contract, then!”

CD: “That’s not how it fucking works, pretty boy.”

T: “Look, what if we just reverse it, then? Take it away from Amanda and give it back to me.”

CD: “Fucking _Christ_ , you think it’s that easy? You humans and your simple minds.”

D: “It is, though, isn’t it? You’re lying.”

CD: “...”

T: “Are you?”

CD: “What the fuck is this? You aren’t an angel, are you?”

D: “Well, that’s a first.”

T: “Aren’t you, though? Kinda?”

D: “What? No, I’m definitely a genuine, bona fide _human_ , Todd, you should know.”

T: “But Gabriel said-”

D: “ _Gabriel_ , Todd. Doesn’t that tell you anything? And you think _I’m_ ridiculous, hah.”

CD: “Wait, wait, _Archangel_ Gabriel? Messenger of fucking God Gabriel?”

D: “Yes. Where do you think we got this Angel Blade from? Walmart?”

CD: “Fuck, get me out of this fucking Devil’s Trap, I’m not getting involved in your crap! You’re almost as bad as the Winchesters!”

T: “Hey! Don’t drag us down to their level!”

D: “I think that’s a compliment, actually.”

T: “You don’t know the Winchesters, Dirk.”

D: “Didn’t they save the world three times or something?”

T: “Yeah, after they started the fucking apocalypse first. _All three times_.”

D: “ _Oh_.”

CD: “Seriously, okay? Let me go. I have deals to be making, deadlines to meet. Crowley’s gonna have my fucking ass for this.”

T: “Break the contract and we’ll let you go.”

CD: “I _told_ you, it doesn’t work that way!”

D: “You’re lying again.”

CD: “Argh!”

T: “Look, from where we’re standing, you’re not in any position to be making demands. And we’ve got all the time in the world.”

CD: “Not from where _I’m_ standing. Three weeks, right? Then it’s our anniversary.”

T: “...”

CD: “What’s wrong, Brotzman? Hellhounds got your tongue?”

D: “Hey, stop it.”

CD: “Just stating facts, pretty boy.”

D: “Yes, well, here’s another fact for you; I don’t need this blade to kill you. I’ve never tortured a demon before, but Blackwing _was_ trying to weaponize me.”

CD: “... You _devious_ little bitch.”

D: “That’s right. We both know what I can do, but I _honestly_ don’t _want_ to. It’s your choice.”

T: “... Dirk?”

D: “... I’m sorry, Todd.”

T: “No, I don’t- what?”

D: “I didn’t fail _every_ test Blackwing gave me…”

T: “Dirk… No...”

D: “Please, Todd.”

T: “Gabriel was right, wasn’t he...?”

D: “I’m _human_ , Todd. Believe me. Just- just not _all_ human, I think…”

CD: “Fuck, okay, fine, _alright_? Get- ugh, just stop it with this teenage angst, I take it back. You’re fucking _worse_ than the Winchesters.”

T: “Wait, what? You’re really gonna break the contract?”

CD: “Yeah, fucking whatever, alright. Your soul’s not even that special, anyway. But your boy here… Mmm, if Brotzman’s ever on his deathbed and you need a deal, baby, I’ll be _happy_ to tap that.”

D: “He’s _fine_. Break his contract and we’ll let you go.”

T: “Shit.”

CD: “There. Done. Burnt, null and void. Now hold up your end of the fucking bargain.”

T: “Just like that?”

CD: “What? Were you expecting a show?”

T: “...”

CD: “Like I said, you ain’t no special snowflake, handsome. A bit tastier than most, but not as prime cut as your boyfriend.”

D: “...”

T: “Dirk, what are you doing? Get away from her!”

D: “... We promised to let her go. We didn’t say anything about where…”

CD: “What the _fu_ \- AAAAAHHH!”

T: “...”

D: “...”

T: “... H-how did you-”

D: “I don’t- I had a hunch?”

T: “Jesus, Dirk.”

D: “I didn’t know I could do that.”

T: “...”

D: “I’m sorry, Todd.”

T: “It’s- no, I-”

D: “You can’t hear the hellhounds anymore… Can you?”

T: “... No… No, they’re- they’re gone.”

D: “That’s good. That would’ve been _extremely_ awkward if she’d been lying.”

T: “... Dirk?”

D: “Yes, Todd?”

T: “... I still love you.”

D: “...”

T: “Come here, Dirk.”

D: “I’m sorry.”

T: “Wait, wait, just- no more secrets?”

D: “No more secrets. I _swear_.”

T: “... I believe you.”

D: “Thank you.”

T: “Stop crying, you’re gonna make me cry.”

D: “Crying is punk. Amanda told me.”

T: “Amanda’s never cried her whole life.”

D: “What? Really?”

T: “Yep.”

D: “Not even once?”

T: “Nope.”

D: “Wow.”

T: “Yeah.”

D: “Where does she keep all the tears?”

T: “She has none.”

D: “... Your sister scares me sometimes.”

T: “She scares me, too. Let’s stop talking about her, now, it’s kind of weird when I’m trying to kiss you.”

D: “Right. Of course.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Dialogue #5
> 
> Shark-kitten has to leave. Dirk doesn't want her to. Gabriel makes a special, douchy appearance.

D: “I love you.”

T: “I know.”

D: “You’re the most important person in the world to me.”

T: “I know.”

D: “I would literally die without you by my side, Todd Brotzman.”

T: “We’re still not keeping the shark-kitten, Dirk.”

D: “But _Todd_ -”

T: “No, Dirk.”

D: “But we found her first!”

T: “Your psycho sister made her, Dirk. We are not keeping her.”

D: “She’s not sister by blood, and you called her _her_! Hah! You _care_!”

T: “So? I got attached, okay, I admit it. She’s saved our asses at least three times. Hard not to feel some sort of connection to her.”

D: “But _what_ then?”

T: “She doesn’t _belong_ here, Dirk. We both know that.”

D: “But she’s _ours_.”

T: “She’s also dangerous. We can’t keep her without drawing attention, anyway.”

D: “... I’ll _miss_ her.”

T: “We can ask Gabriel to send us postcards of her.”

D: “It won’t be the same.”

T: “Dirk…”

G: “You bozos ready to say goodbye?”

T: “Jesus! I told you to stop doing that!”

G: “Hey, shark-kitten’s crying.”

T: “No, that’s just Dirk’s tears.”

G: “Ah. Makes sense. Well, time’s wasting, buddy. Hand her over.”

D: “...”

T: “Dirk…”

D: “Alright, fine, take her! Just- please be gentle?”

G: “That’s what she said.”

T: “ _Gabriel_.”

G: “Okay, _fine_. Calm your tits. I promise I’ll be gentle to the man-eating chimera with shark teeth. Happy?”

D: “Goodbye, shark-kitten.”

G: “You didn’t even give her a proper name. Stop bawling.”

D: “She prefers anonymity.”

T: “Just go before he tries to take her back.”

G: “Wow, hell of a welcome party. You’re lucky I owe you for that amulet fiasco.”

T: “Yeah, exactly. _You_ owe _us_. So stop being an asshat.”

G: “Well, someone’s touchy today.”

D: “She doesn’t want to go…”

G: “Oh, it’s fine, my arm will heal.”

T: “God, that’s disgusting.”

G: “Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

D: “Shark-kitten…”

T: “Just go!”

G: “Alright, _fine_. Man, you really need to loosen up.”

T: “... And he’s gone.”

D: “...”

T: “Dirk, come on, it’s for the best.”

D: “I miss her already.”

T: “She’s out on her own ninety percent of the time.”

D: “Yes, but I know she always comes back.”

T: “We’ll get an actual kitten, okay?”

D: “It won’t be the same.”

T: “Yeah, because cats with shark teeth are just selling like hotcakes, aren’t they.”

D: “What?”

T: “Nothing, I didn’t say anything. Come on, Amanda said they'll meet up with us at the bar.”

D: “... Can we not go?”

T: “... I’ll tell her you’re feeling sick.”

D: “Thank you.”

T: “Just- stop crying, okay? She’s in a better place.”

D: “You make her sound dead!”

T: “ _You’re_ acting like she’s dead!”

D: “...”

T: “Aw, Dirk, no, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean that.”

D: “... Come here and comfort me.”

T: “Okay, okay…”

D: “... You smell like her.”

T: “Dirk, no. Please don’t make this weird.”

D: “Sorry.”

T: “Don’t be, just… I love you, okay? But she really did have to go.”

D: “I know… and I love you, too.”

T: “Good, because _you_ definitely smell like her.”

D: “I’m never washing this shirt.”

T: “Please don’t tell me that.”


End file.
